When my bf and I first started dating (we’ve been together a little over a year), we had sex at least one, two, sometimes three times everytime we would get together. He was constantly grabbing my butt, trying to kiss/make out with me, he’d sneak in the shower with me, smack my butt when id walk up the stairs… stuff like that. Honestly, because my sex drive is through the roof, I loved every little bit of it. About 4 months in, all of that is gone. Like a light switch turned off. Went from constant to nothing overnight. Now… We have sex maybeee once every 2 months… and it’s really getting to me. I’ll try making out with him, and I’ll get a peck back and a pull away or a head turn. Ive stopped trying to initiate since it’s not met with a flat out “no” rejection, more of a “oooo look over there at something totally different and not this at all…” or “I’m going to just give you the littlest bit back to tell you not into it” or “roll over and put you next to me” type rejection. I tried talking to him about this… about how sex is really important to me in a relationship and he just said “I just don’t think about it as much as you do I guess.” I’ve put on a little bit of weight since we started dating, and it’s eating away at me that he no longer finds me attractive or sexy anymore since it was a very drastic change. I’m hurt and I don’t know how to fix this or if it’s fixable. I want to try talking to him about this again but I have no idea what to say that I haven’t already said or say it in a way that he understands just how important it is to me… I love this man so much. I see my life with his… but I don’t know if I can stay if this can’t be fixed.
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Is it a fake post?
Idk you’ve tried talking you’ve tried initiating. If its truly about the little bit of weight you put on, what will happen when you body changes after kids or just naturally as you age? You can’t fix this he has too, and it sounds like he doesn’t think it’s a problem to fix.
Talk to him about it.
Then decide.
Ye be gone from sex like crazy to hardly no sex at all this means one of two things, he is either addicted to porn and watching it when you’re not around or he has a secret lover. Bottom line is he must be getting it elsewhere.
>I want to try talking to him about this again but I have no idea what to say that I haven’t already said or say it in a way that he understands just how important it is to me
You need to word the issue as a problem that needs to be solved, and get his input on how to solve the problem. If he refuses to view the issue as a problem that needs to be solved, you need to ask him why. If you can’t both agree on this issue being an actual issue, you’ve reached an impasse.