My (21M) girlfriend (21F) flirts with guys for ‘free drinks’

r/

We have been together for 5.5 years now. We had our ups and downs, but we weredoing really great at the moment, or so I thought.

My gf went a night out with my sister (18F) in a big city an hour away from where I live. My girlfriend lives in this city, and goes out there on a regular basis. My sister noticed she dances and flirts with a lot of guys, begging for free drinks. A guy also told my sister my girlfriend was grinding against him. My sister got mad at my girlfriend. She simply told my sister to never mention this to me and that she should take it to her grave.

When my sister told me this I was truly baffled. I did know she sometimes get drinks for free. She would tell me that guys would come to her asking if they can buy her a drink, she says yes, and that’s that. Turns out that is not really the case. She regularly goes out with girls i have never met, so I have no clue what she does when no one I know is there.

I am planning to have a serious talk with her, but I don’t know how to handle it. Usually with things like this, she tries to act like it didn’t happen at first, and when she can’t hold that up any longer, she puts the blame on me because I did ‘…’ in the past. Eventually she will say she’s sorry, but it never goes smoothly. This is the most disrespectful thing she has done to me as far as I know, so I want to prepare myself accordingly. So, how do I handle this talk?

My apologies for potential bad writing, English is not my first language. If you have any questions, lmk. Thank you in advance 🙂

Comments

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  2. Only_Tip9560 Avatar

    Talk to her, if, as I suspect and you suspect, she just tried to reverse it onto you then it is time to end the relationship. 5.5 years at your age represents a huge amount of development and growth. Your gf has grown into a young woman who is happy using her sexuality to get things she wants from men she has no genuine interest in. Just drinks now, but what’s next? You deserve better and good on your sister for letting you know.

  3. acheserve Avatar

    She’s not your girlfriend, U think she is

  4. XxLogitech98xX Avatar

    I would be offended and highly turned off if my gf is flirting with other guys. It’s basically misleading them and tricking them.

  5. granitegumball Avatar

    No way dude don’t put yourself through this ,and leave her

  6. Heiko-67 Avatar

    Those drinks have a monetary value, because she would otherwise need to buy them herself. That means that your GF is selling her attention to other men. Is she your GF in reality or only in your imagination?

    “She simply told my sister to never mention this to me and that she should take it to her grave.”

    This is pretty much all you need to know about her, really.

  7. cchrissyy Avatar

    It could be a relationship faithfulness issue or an alcoholism issue, or maybe you’ve just grown apart. In any case I think it’s time to move on.

  8. anditurnedaround Avatar

    A girl can’t walk into a place that sells drinks without someone offering a free drink. Usually the bartender brings it over so you don’t even have much choice to say no. 

    You learn to say no. Because once you start drinking that drink, they come over. Nothings really free. They want to talk. 

    I taught my daughter to say no thank you to a drink and send it back. It’s not worth it unless you want to meet people, then of course it’s fine. 

    We would wear wedding rings even though we were not married to avoid this. 

    So
    Times you just want to go out and have a little fun without having a guy come on to you. Not their fault for trying. It’s just easier to wear a fake band if you’re not interested. Saves them money and you the hassle. 

  9. Life_One_6012 Avatar

    Rest assured she does this when she goes out with her friends. Thankfully your sister saw this first hand and told you. Most people aren’t cool with their gf rubbing their ass over strange dick, you should break up.

  10. ThrowRA_Alfreud Avatar

    Talk to us and make things clear…
    If you realize that she is sincere and really does it 100% only and exclusively for free drinks… man!… you will save your money and have a happy and drunk girl without opening your wallet…

    Everyone wins!

    However it all depends on your relationship with your properties… all legitimate.

    P.S. it happens in my area too… lots of naive kids made fun of… but with no real hope… who pay for dozens of drinks…

    To put it bluntly… she fucks and fucks only me… but she makes others pay the bill… there is a lot of complicity and very very sincere, honest and genuine feelings.

    Good luck, friend.

  11. Maxismydog1981 Avatar

    At least you do not have to pay for the drinks. lol

  12. vegaswithfreddy Avatar

    I just had to read the first paragraph. I used to work in nightlife so let me tell you now that you are not her boyfriend. It is only your turn. Break up with this girl and block her everywhere. Move on. Do not look back.

  13. Acceptablepops Avatar

    Nope absolutely not

  14. Less-Hippo9052 Avatar

    It’s worse. It’s a lack of dignity.

  15. Bill2550 Avatar

    So if your gf had the guts to do that in front of YOUR SISTER, what is she doing “for drinks” when it’s only her and her girls?

    I think flirting for drinks and leading guys on is shitbag behavior that may catch up to her sometime, especially if she grinds on them.

    Nah, she’s toxic and not mature enough for a real relationship.

    “It’s a lot harder to be walked on when you are standing up!”

    Updateme

  16. BossGro Avatar

    Not a good sign, bro

  17. cam31954 Avatar

    Yeppers, what happens when she gets a free drink from a guy that she thinks is hotter than you?

  18. avast2006 Avatar

    Yes, this is a problem. Maybe you need to start buying random girls drinks. Grind on them on the dance floor, too. Pretty sure that will get the point across.

  19. iamsampeters Avatar

    “She simply told my sister to never mention this to me and that she should take it to her grave.”

    You break up, and to do anything else would be utterly stupid.

  20. Creative-Ad-1363 Avatar

    It may related to maturity, but it sounds like she has deeper issues. This habit can erode the trust in your relationship.

  21. SpaceImpossible658 Avatar

    She’s single when she’s out on the town without you. Sorry about this. Lots of women act this way and hide it. I’m not saying she cheated on you any of those times, but it’s not a far stretch. If your sister wasn’t there what do you think she would’ve done, how far would she go with one of these guys? Now you know the truth, what are you going to do with it? Confront her and make up so she can gaslight you more, or respect yourself and end it?