Hi! Sorry if this is triggering, I’m not sure how it would be but if it is I apologize in advance. So my bestfriend and I have been friends for a long time. Since I was 10 and he was 13. We were bestfriends. He is a gay man, he was openly gay from the age of 9 to present. He is not bisexual or anything not pansexual as well, he is strictly homosexual. But we do stuff together, and I mean explicit stuff like kissing and etc. we’ve been doing that for almost 2 years now. And I’m sort of developing feelings for him. I know it’s crazy but I just am. He obviously never will return those feelings. But we live in the same apartment complex and the same floor. We see each other 24/7. I can’t avoid him. I just want these feelings to go away because I value my friendship with him. But I don’t know how to stop my growing feelings. It’s getting hard to be around him, I know he’ll be uncomfortable if I confess to him and I just don’t want our friendship to end. I genuinely love him as my friend and basically platonic soulmate, but I’m afraid that’ll turn into loving him as a partner or something. So just, any advice? Feel free to say anything just don’t judge me please, I’m struggling myself.
My (22F) gay bestfriend (25M) do “stuff” together.
r/Advice
Comments
Yo, sounds like a tough spot u’re in. IMHO, honesty is key even if it’s awkward af initially. Talk it out with him ASAP before the feelings grow any stronger. If he’s truly ur bestie, y’all will figure it out together. And remember, it’s okay to set boundaries. Self-care is crucial, dude. Look after urself first.👌🏽💔➡️❤️💪🏽
You need to stop “doing stuff”. Totally stop. A quick kiss hello on the cheek like you would your grandma.
Then you need to find a partner who is and will be there for you.
And if this person is really a friend you need to have a real adult talk about what you had been doing and how you are feeling and make sure they are never going to let you trick yourself over them again.
Its time to be an adult.
He ain’t gay he’s bi
He’s just ‘gay’ but he’ll do sexual things with his female friend? He’s not gay, he’s confused and stubborn.
if he has sexual feelings for you, he is not gay. you need to talk about what you posted with him, everything. brutal honesty, but with kindness.
If you’re doing explicit stuff, he’s bi/pan. I’m not sure why he’s insisting he’s not, unless he’s internalized some of bi/panphobia that exists in our community.
Hes either bi and doesnt want to deal with that, or hes making fun of u to everyone behind your back… which sucks but so many gay men don’t respect women either unfortunately
Whats the other stuff outside of kissing?
Maybe he has feeling for you too?
“Hey FRIEND, I have been thinking a lot lately and I believe it is best we probably stop doing stuff together so it doesn’t get confusing. I believe I was developing feelings for you and unless you have the same we need to pause this so we can remain friends without the other stuff messing it up for us”
Do you guys bang?