I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 5 months. She’s the first person I’ve ever truly loved. Recently, I noticed she pinned another guy in her Instagram DMs—but not me. She doesn’t know I saw it.
They’re “just friends” as far as I know, but her behavior has felt off. Whenever she screen-shared and I asked her to check something I sent, she would rush through our messages really fast—like she didn’t want me to see something. It felt suspicious, like she was hiding something. I even screenshotted the guy being pinned, which I know isn’t a great move—but I’ve had this constant uneasy feeling in my gut.
I haven’t said anything yet because I don’t want to seem insecure or controlling, but I’m scared. I don’t know how to bring it up without damaging the relationship or pushing her away.
I guess I just need advice—how do I approach this? Am I overthinking, or is this a red flag?
TL;DR:
My girlfriend pinned another guy on Instagram, not me. Her behavior feels off and I’m worried something’s going on. I don’t know how to talk to her about
Comments
Honesty is key. Sit her down and admit that you unintentionally saw it. Basically say everything you said here: You don’t want to doubt her and don’t want to be controlling, but you can’t help that it’s been on the back of your mind since then. If you approach it calmly and tell her you just want some reassurance so you can get it off your mind, there should be zero reason for her to be upset.
If she’s got a good head on her shoulders, she’ll thank you for honestly and explain the situation to you. If she freaks out on you and goes into defense mode, I’d personally take that as a sign that she probably IS hiding something. She should have no reason to feel uneasy or angry if it’s an innocent situation.
Do it sooner rather than later! The longer you sit on it the more awkward it’ll get. Wish you luck !
I’ll give you some concrete girl advice here since you’re a man and have probably not heard it: Trust your intuition. It’s there to protect you. There is something wrong. You need to have a conversation with her about your feelings on the matter and if she dismisses you or diminishes and/or downplays your feelings.. then you have your answer: she at best doesn’t value your feelings and at worst is likely cheating. Even if not physically, it’s emotional cheating. I have a male best friend and i wouldn’t pin him if i was dating someone. Just out of respect.
How long have they been friends?
If you feel like you’re being cheated on, pack it up and move on. Especially if it’s only 5 months.