My (23f) bf (24m) “getting even” w me feels manipulative

r/

My boyfriend tried to “get even” with me by making friends with girls and going to the bar and club w them to see how it would make me feel. I’m more offended at him running an experiment on me than actually being friends w the girls…I was loyal when I would hang out w my guy friends and he was jealous i guess? he was trying to make me jealous in return, which i was bc he went to the club w two girls on my night off while I was home in bed. This seems so manipulative and weird to me! How do yall feel about “getting even” in relationships? Just seems so childish, maybe I’m wrong for hanging w the guy friends, but every time I would ask permission bc I knew he was insecure and if I didn’t ask then I would be “hiding something”, when I would hang w my guy friends it was either getting food and catching up (bc if I see the guy too often it’s sus to him) bc we only see each other like twice a year. Does that make me insecure that he was out w these girls and I was questioning it? Seemed so random bc I’ve never heard anything about these girls except one was his coworker and idek what they look like. I trust him but this whole “getting back” at me thing feels so weird and manipulative. Oh and not to mention, it was his mom and best friend who suggested this idea…why tf would I want to be in a relationship where those people are part of it and gives him these ideas?? Did I do something wrong to warrant this? I was so transparent when I would hang w my guy friends too like what would give him this kind of impression? I guess he won bc I was feeling weird about him going to the bar and club with the two girls.
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Comments

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  2. CardiologistApart813 Avatar

    Well you definitely have double standards, you were okay with doing a thing to your boyfriend that you wont be okay with it happening to you .

  3. citrushibiscus Avatar

    Because it is manipulation and immature asf. And you’re right, if he’s not actual friends with them too, that’s just another level of disrespect.

    Tbh I’m not surprised he’s like that if his mom and best friend are, but he’s a whole grown ass man! This is so embarrassing for him.

    I also don’t know why you are with him, let alone catering to his bullshit. You feel weird because you know what he’s doing is wrong and you don’t know what to do. Well, I think you do know what to do, you just are unsure of taking that step. But you know your relationship is unhealthy, right?

  4. Responsible-yoda Avatar

    High-school or lower reaction

  5. AwayRecluse Avatar

    Leave him. This kind of spiteful behaviour wont change. Especially since its his family egging him on.

    My dad was spiteful towards my mom and he was always looking for ways to punish her. I wouldn’t wish that kind of relationship on anyone. Its better for you to be alone and at peace than to be worried that he will find ways to punish you.

  6. CharleeTe11 Avatar

    I don’t like it at all. “Get even.” Is something you do with enemy. It’s concerning he views you that way. 

  7. IntrepidDifference84 Avatar

    Boundaries are discussed before a relationship. Compatibility is probably off

  8. YaDamme Avatar

    Those 2 girls he was just hanging with . One of them
    Is not just a friend one of them wants more if what you saying is what I understood he just happened to find two seperate girls to hang out with after you hung out . No that is possible but highly unlikely he has known them for a while without your knowledge and one of the two he has the hots for as does she to him
    Good luck in this I think you going to have your heart broken

  9. Responsible-yoda Avatar

    Sorry his reaction reminded me of high school or middle school reaction from him

  10. Leather_Lab_6158 Avatar

    Nevertheless, it would have seemed quite strange to me that my girlfriend keeps telling me that she wants to meet other men!!
    I could have spared myself these kindergartens vengeful nonsense, because I would have given you the pass…
    ✌️😉

  11. jallisy Avatar

    Run. Don’t ask permission. Just shut the door and let him be someone else’s nightmare.