My (23F) boyfriend’s (20M) drinkings habits are worrying me. How do I approach this?

r/

We’ve only been together for about a month and he’s overall really wonderful thus far, but I am honestly not okay with how he drinks on the weekends. He goes to a bar/club? and downs about 40 drinks because his tolerance is so high and often doesn’t remember what happened the next day. Not only is it a ton of money to be spending, but it’s also terrible for his health.

But even more worrying is how he will get into fights because the bar is filled with shitty people and end up covered in bruises and scratches while leaving others unconscious. He has spoken about some men literally groping him (which is one of the reasons why he gets into a fights—and I don’t blame him—that’s disgusting and awful) and women constantly coming up to him with money to pay for sex with him. I’m not worried about him cheating or accepting offers from these women, I know he won’t. But putting himself through this is terrible and borderlines on self-harm to me.

He’s even mentioned (this is before he met me) some girl getting him blackout drunk (one who he knew and kept rejecting because he wasn’t into her) only to wake up in a motel room with her without any memory of what happened. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that counts as assault, correct? He’s so causal about all of this and I don’t know why. I’m concerned he doesn’t take it seriously or see himself as a victim because of the stigma against males being assaulted.

I am not okay with this at all. He’s literally putting himself through so much trauma. I don’t want him to hurt himself like this. Any advice welcomed on how to approach this. Thank you.

TL;DR — My boyfriend’s drinking habits at bars are getting him into dangerous and traumatic situations and I need it stop. How should I approach this?

Comments

  1. spin_kick Avatar

    Dating an alcoholic is one of the worst things you can try to do. You are young, don’t play with fire. They will take you down with them. I grew up with an alcoholic parent, it’s forever problems

    If my significant other was alcoholic I’d be out fairly quickly, especially if kids were involved. It’s not selfish it’s self preservation