For background, 1 month ago, my ex (24M) broke up with me after being together for 6 years. At first, I wasn’t ready to break up so we took a 3-week break, but after talking again I realized that it’s best if we break up so that we can both work on ourselves. We ended it on good terms and are open to being friends again in the future. These past 2 months have been really hard but I’ve been trying to work on myself so that I can create my own happiness and don’t need to rely on others for that. I’m starting to feel better!
2 days ago, I went clubbing with my friends and bumped into one of my ex’s childhood friend. He tapped me on the shoulder and I only recognized him the second time. He came to the club alone with crutches which I thought was pretty funny so I talked to him a bit and invited him to dance with the rest of us. He asked where my ex was and I told him that we broke up. We all had fun dancing and then my friends and I decided to go home so we went outside. One of my friends (24F) wanted to take a picture together with me and my ex’s friend and she later on posted it on her close friends story (she also thought the crutches were funny).
Last night, my ex’s friend texted me, asking if I was going out and if I wanted to go to this other club. I went to bed early so I didn’t see his message until this morning, to which I basically said “Thanks for inviting me, I’d love to go clubbing again in a few weeks, I’m down to call on discord or grab coffee to catch up with you”. Here’s what I think of this guy, based on the few times he hung out with my ex and what I’ve seen him post on social media: he’s very weird and he often makes himself look very desperate for attention/connection, but I can tell that he’s a nice person. He doesn’t strike me as someone with malicious intent, he’s just going through some stuff and is coping with it in questionable ways. That’s kind of what my ex thought of him as well and they haven’t been very close since he started to act really weird. So the reason why I invited him for coffee was just to catch up with him as friends. I also invited my other friend with whom we took a picture together.
After I finished talking to my ex’s friend, my ex texted me saying there is something absolutely hilarious he has to show me. It was screenshots of his conversation with his friend saying that I was hitting on him but he likes my friend better. He said that I’m planning dates with him and that I’m trying to be the ‘game master’ by inviting my friend as well so that I can see which one he will chose??????? He said “this is not squid game”?????????????????? I was speechless. My ex was like “I don’t know what you did but I’m sure it’s not what he thinks it is”. I feel so relieved that my ex doesn’t actually think that I was hitting on him.
Now, I feel really conflicted and not sure of how I should confront my ex’s friend. My mom was saying that I should tell him to not go around and spread lies about me because I am NOT interested in him. My friend who was gonna come with me to get coffee was saying that I should make up an excuse to not go. I don’t feel comfortable with seeing him anymore but I’m not sure if calling it off without an explanation is the right thing to do. He’s clearly lonely and has some serious issues, but it seems like everyone gave up on him. To be honest, what I want to do is ask him why he thinks I’m hitting on him and tell him why I was friendly to him. I saw the good in him and I kind of felt sorry for him that he doesn’t have many close friends. I was hoping that we could be good friends but instead he decided to brag about it to my ex. I still don’t know how I would phrase it though.
If anyone has had a similar experience, I would love to hear your opinion! I’m just looking for some ideas of how to deal with this.
TLDR: I was friendly to my ex’s friend and invited him to get coffee with another friend of mine. I then found out from my ex that he (my ex’s friend) thinks I’m hitting on him. How do I confront him about it??
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