Here’s some context, my 23F gf invites me 27M to a music festival every year.
We’ve been together for about two years, everything has been pretty good. Last year at the same festival she was all over me, very affectionate & just overall seemed to enjoy my presence.
This year however, she has pushed me away for two days straight. I brought up how I felt, and it turned into a massive argument infront of everyone. So I left her alone. When I returned she continued to pretend I wasn’t there.
So I brought up how she was hurting me, and how I would love to spend time together & just overall enjoy the trip.
She continued to look at me, essentially begging for her to act like my girlfriend, and proceeded to tell me she doesn’t have the mental capacity to do this.
I’m currently packed up sitting in my camper, debating on just leaving and going home.
Any advice is appreciated. Would I be wrong to leave?
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No, you wouldn’t be wrong to leave. If you don’t feel appreciated/loved/seen somewhere, just do yourself a favor and leave.
You don’t have to beg anyone to love you (and I highly advise against doing so for your own sake/feeling of self-worth.)
Don’t leave her to get home alone, that not only is the bad human thing to do but also gives her a way to flip the whole thing. You should rise above here.
Use the journey to talk it through and go your separate ways if need be after.
What about your relationship is different from last year?
Is she riding with you? Would leaving her have her stranded ? If not, text her and leave. If so try to make sure she has accommodation to not be stranded first. She’s not being a good gf but that doesn’t have to stop you from being a good person.
Absolutely leave if you want too, just make sure she’s safe as well, then when the festivals over you can have a very candid conversation about how not okay her behavior is and so out of the blue at what is supposed to be a great fun easy time
Just leave her there. Why stay there and be treated like crap. Or you can stay have a good time and completely ignore her. But if you stay, do not even acknowledge she is even there
Something is clearly off and she’s potentially pushing you away on purpose. If she has her own way to get home, then there’s nothing wrong with you leaving. However if she’s dependent on you to get home, you should just disengage and wait it out then break up when you’re both back home.
This is how someone treated me on a big school trip we were so excited to be on together before they broke it off with me (happened on the trip bc I was like wtf is going on here) so just prepare yourself bud. It’s not fair and probably isn’t your fault at all unless something has obviously happened or changed since last year. It’s her stonewalling you and being shitty
So let me get this straight, she takes you to a music festival every year, and this also is the second year you’ve been together. So you have in fact been once.
Your recounting of what she did wrong is also very vague.
I am starting to think OP is not a reliable narrator.
“debating on just leaving and going home.”
Do it, I would do the same. She’s 23 and still young and doesn’t know what the fk she wants, she’s proving that to you.
Leaving might result in a Huge argument and a break up. Stay and have fun without her for the rest of the time. When she asks what’s up, just throw her excuses back at her telling her you cant handle it right now, ect. And stly go and enjoy alone music, have fun, give her a taste of her own medicine. Dance with new ppl, make new friends, …..have a talk with her later when the party is over. But ask yourself is this person right for you? Can you see yourself with her after this stunt?
Go enjoy the festival man, have some beers and meet some new people. Id show her you’re fine on your own. Best of luck bro ✌🏻
Her behavior is usually a women whos subconsciously trying to appear as single, and keeping away from you to attract other guys. This can all happen consciously or unconsciously but thats what the kind of behavior points to. Time to count your losses and move on OP, you have no idea how she acts when you aren’t around if this is how she is in front of you in those places. She was feeling you were cock blocking her essentially.
What would her perspective be on this situation? What did you say when you brought up how you felt “in front of everyone”? What is she referring to specifically when she says she doesn’t have the mental capacity to deal with you? That’s a pretty damning statement.
You aren’t sounding very plur. Have you read about attachment styles? Relax a little. Maybe she feels secure in the relationship and thinks you’re overreacting. Go have fun and look after her. Quit trying to force it. You sound a little manipulative and your story isn’t detailed enough for me to see your POV. you’ve gone with her to one of these? During honeymoon phase of your relationship? If you leave it should be over.
Edit to delete two garbled words
Leave her there. Have the self respect to care about your own feelings because she has chosen to ignore yours.
Had that happen to me. Sounds like she is setting the stage for a break up. Do yourself a favor and leave. If she reaches out tell her you need time to think of this relationship is right for you. Eventually you will have your answer by the way she behaves from hearing this.
If she has another ride I would just go home.
She made herself clear mate. For whatever reason, she’s done with you and wants to act single. So let her. Go home, pack up your crap at her place, give back the crap she has at your place and move on.
It’ll suck for a while, but when folks show you who they are, believe them.
All the usual advice: unhook anything electronic or digital that you share and pay for, unhook finances, leases, whatever. If she’s been living at your place, officially evict her.
And get yourself tested for STI’s. If she’s been acting single for a while, she probably was hooking up as if she was single too.
Tough one. You do need to have a rational conversation about it. You do NOT need to do that in front of all her/your friends.
In my experience only, when this happens it’s sign of a much bigger issue. I hope I’m wrong in your case, but she could be starting the process of checking out.
When you do bring it up, my only suggestion is to not start guns blazing. Say something like “when I started comparing last year to this year, I couldn’t help but think you’re starting to check out. I felt alone and ignored and not important to you.”
It takes the edge off and focuses on how YOU felt, not what she did. IF she gets on the defensive from the start, it won’t be a productive conversation.
Neither is wrong, with that treatment
Don’t be a lap dog, good grief man. If you stay with that narcissist, you better get used to be treated like shit, cause that’s what she’s going to do