My girlfriend and I got pretty drunk last night and were having a good time when she suddenly took my phone and ran off to the bathroom. I honestly didn’t think anything of it because I have nothing to hide and she knows all of my passwords (we’ve been together for over 5 years) she was in the bathroom for a while and I went to check on her because I was concerned she was throwing up, and I see her looking through my instagram messages and she quickly scrambled to try to hide that she was going though my phone (very obvious since she was drunk). I didn’t say anything or even acknowledge it because she wasnt feeling great and did end up throwing up later on. I just pretended to not notice.
I just feel weird after this because I thought we were both on the same page and fully trust each other. She seems to have forgotten about the interaction and I want to know if this is something I should bring up or just leave it alone?
Edit: Thank you all for your comments! I will talk to her about it and give an update. Some of y’all have been hurt real bad and I’m sorry about your situation but I don’t think this is one of those cases. It seems like a lapse in judgement but we will talk about it today. Thank you
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Talk to her about it while sober. This is probably something she’s thought about doing for a while. Sober thoughts are drunk words(actions)
In my experience this means she has stuff she is hiding in her phone… I wouldn’t normally say you should go through her phone, but in this case. An eye for an eye. Wait for her to go to sleep and go through all her messages on all her apps… hopefully she just had some weird thoughts she was worried about.
My ex wife went through my phone constantly and always flipped out over things that she was trying to twist into something. I never understood it until I finally went through her phone.
Man, that was a revelation. Totally blew my mind. I had no idea all the BS she was doing behind my back
Idk, it’s a little sketchy, have you looked through her phone recently? Half of the time this is projected behavior. If she absolutely refuses to let you see her phone, then maybe she wasn’t looking to see if you were cheating, but looking to see if y’all were equals, equally guilty or equally clean. Maybe she’s trying to look for reasons to start shit or something. There’s a lot of questions you could ask, but the easiest one is if she trusts you enough to let you look at her phone. Maybe immediately go to her insta messages.
Maybe she’s following the “trust but verify” principle lol. Personally, it wouldn’t bother me, because there’s nothing to hide. If you don’t like it, just start a conversation with her in any way and find out what made her do it, maybe she had a negative experience in the past. Maybe she wanted to call an ambulance she was thinking it was her phone coz she were drunk. It could be anything.
She’s looking through your shit to feel less guilty if she finds something because she has stuff to hide. My ex-gf of 2 years did the same thing to me while I was sleeping. Turns out she had dating apps (my boy screenshotted and showed me) and was already planning her exit. We broke up a week later.
When someone does something like this it reveals more about their character, not yours.
I would be concerned she is possibly guilty of something she herself is doing and projecting that into you to make herself feel better.
I agree in that moment it was the right thing not to say anything but I would definitely bring it up sooner than later.
It could be a variety of things random drunk impulse, or perhaps she could be hiding something herself. If it bothers you enough, have a conversation with her and try and find out why she may have done it
I agree she probably should have asked first (ofc she was very drunk), tbh tho as a gf I enjoy looking through my bfs phone not for any reason I just get bored and it’s interesting, he also doesn’t really care too much. He knows it’s not because I don’t trust him but that I just find it more interesting than nothing. But I know a lot of people these days see it as a trust problem and a privacy problem, but I don’t think it’s a big deal and if he told me he didn’t like it then I wouldn’t do it.
Protection insecurity, they look the same
i’d be offended if someone didn’t trust me.
typically though, trust is a road paved by two.
if the other side isn’t trusting then it’s just a one way road. has she done this or something similar before?
Address it kindly, but don’t sweep it under the rug. Healthy relationships thrive on open communication, not unspoken doubts.
Could have been acting upon an underlying feeling of insecurity during a moment of drunkenness. Or she’s cheating and projecting that you are too so she checked your phone. Who knows 🤷♂️
I know you’ve seen the trend where the girl takes the guy phones & runs vise vera & the other persons supposed to run after & flip out. I don’t no. Maybe that is what she was expecting.
Op even if you don’t want to check her phone id still ask just to gauge a reaction. People who do this are often hiding something they may not want you to see, as people have said before. I know you trust her and may not want to cross that boundary but ask yourself if you’ve truly done nothing wrong what would warrant her to display such behavior? Guilty conscience maybe?
She was deleting messages/blocking her side dude who was trying to warn you
It’s a sign that she may be hiding something herself. Or her drunk self isn’t as secure as her sober self. Don’t pretend you didn’t see it. Now that you both have your wits about you ask her why, then ask her, if she has something to hide. Why doesn’t she trust you is a big question. Get that out of the way, so she can start trusting you.
Op, you should definitely talk to her about this. During that same conversation, ask her to go through her phone right then and there. Her answer will shed some light on her and her phone.
I would put money on it, she will say no. Then, hours later, come back and say that she thought about it and she will offer her phone up.
It’s possible she’s projecting onto you. Check her phone
I wouldn’t assume she’s doing something automatically I would communicate what made her feel like something was wrong that she needed to check I’ve done this while not being guilty of anything and just overthinking the relationship or body language tone something and it got my head spinning hell I still do it but I don’t go through his phone anymore cause I’m not in love like that anymore to care.