For starters. She’s not wrong for the most part. Most of the time im either trying to keep it together or if im not in a bad mood im just doing ok. I mainly put this down to being overworked and overstressed but I would like to find a solution
We have been together since 16, we live together, no kids but plan to have them in the future.
We have been going around in circles with the same issue. Me being in a bad mood from work or financial issues. which she will pick up on, put her in a bad mood and she will start saying things like she hates when im like this or something like that. I know it affects her and I don’t take it out on her but she will be able to pick up on it anyway just from being around me.
Im not on any antidepressants or medication whatsoever, my mum committed suicide 11 years ago and I highly believe if she never took antidepressants she would still be here.
Her death did take a toll on me but I’ve felt like ive gotten over it, at least I think I have.
What I personally think the issue is is that im working 60-70 hours a week in a job where im constantly dealing with people and tbh i just dont have the mental energy when I get home. I go straight to the gym to relieve some of the anger thats been building from during the day. When im at work I find myself counting down the hours till I can get home or have my next day off. I really hate that job and im trying my best but I keep making stupid mistakes which get me in trouble and then that just stresses me out even more and the cycle repeats.
Ive always wanted to become a personal trainer so I decided to start doing a course so I can work towards that but thats going to take a while at least here in the US.
I just get home from work and have no mental energy for people. Im not an angry person but I find myself snapping at small things like missing a turn or an exit on the freeway.
I feel like everything is slowly picking me apart. I told my wife so many times but she still thinks im purposely being like this.
Small things like brushing my teeth and showering ive been falling behind on and honestly it just takes so much mental effort it feels like a huge task.
When people ask if im depressed I always say no because I dont have suicidal thoughts
Advice on how I can be less miserable?
TL:DR Wife says I’m in a bad mood constantly, I am but unsure how to fix it
Comments
Depression doesn’t instantly mean suicidal thoughts. It mainly means a lot of what you’re talking about. No energy to talk to people, forgetting basic hygiene tasks, not having any energy for your life partner.
Therapy doesn’t always mean medication. Sometimes it’s good to just talk to a person who is not involved with your life and hear their perspective on it.
You sound depressed. You fix that by starting to address that with a professional and not taking it out on your wife.
It sounds like you might benefit from therapy if that fits within your budget. It’s possible you’re carrying a lot beneath the surface that you’re not fully aware of, and it’s showing up as irritation and other feelings.