For context, my 24F boyfriend 26M we’ve been together for 3 years, he has a brother 19M who studies in a tech university, does crypto and does boxing. I’ve never met his brother but I’ve seen him in pictures.
Anyways some days ago a reel popped up on my Instagram feed and the guy in it looked exactly like my boyfriend’s brother and the account also had the same name as his brother. I sent a screenshot of the reel and asked my bf “is this your brother ?” And he straight up refused and said no. Today I came across another reel from that account and turns out it IS his brother. The guy literally has the same facial features as my bf, he has the same full name, he does boxing, the account is crypto related stuff and goes to the tech university I talked about earlier. I also had a picture of my bf and his brother together and I matched the picture with the reels on that account and it is 101% his brother.
All of this is so disturbing to me because why would my bf lie about something so insignificant? Right now he’s saying stuff like “I don’t know whether my brother has a public account” (i never asked if his brother has a public account, i sent his picture and asked if the guy in the picture is his brother- also, how can one NOT recognise the brother they LIVE with? Bs excuse) other times he’s saying “you’re making assumptions only cos he looks like me”
He lied and he can’t come up with a proper excuse. And its not about his brother its the fact that he lied about something so little and something SO obvious, makes me wonder how many other things he’s lied about or kept hidden.
It may seem small but my trust is broken and i don’t know what to do and how to proceed. I’ve tried to confront him but he keeps denying and isn’t responding now (makes me think if he’s coming up with an excuse to gaslight me)
How do I go about this?
TLDR: sent my bf a reel clearly made by his brother and upon asking if its him he denied that it’s his brother. Confronted him and he’s still denying and lying even though its 100% his brother. An insignificant lie has broken trust and I don’t know what to do.
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Always fascinating how someone can shatter trust not with a grand betrayal, but with a clumsy, pointless lie.
You gave him every out and rather than say, “Yeah, that’s him,” he doubled down on a denial that insults your intelligence. Now he’s not defending the truth… he’s defending the lie. Which tells you something he probably fears being caught more than he values being believed.
When people show you who they are…. believe them
Your boyfriend is a pathological liar, and he might be a secret narcissist if he’s not that he definitely has some other personality disorder. Nobody lies about something stupid like that for no reason. Or a small reason.
That is a weird thing to lie about. I also think it’s odd that you’ve been dating for years and you have never met his brother. That makes me wonder if something happened between them.
I don’t understand why he would lie about something so stupid but, if he will lie about that he will like about anything and everything.
SO you guys have been dating for three years and you haven’t even met his siblings yet? don’t follow them on any socials? Like i can understand delaying meeting the parents but not the sibs or the friends? I think he’s hiding something significant and the lying about the brother with never meeting the family are related.
You need to sit down and ask him to tell you what is going on. Tell him you’ll try to keep an open mind and be understanding but you can’t continue if he’s going to side step this discussion. If he can’t do that, you’re done.
I’m guessing he doesn’t like his brother or is mad at him for something.
You’ve been together 3 years and never met your boyfriend’s brother?
You’ve never met your boyfriend’s brother that LIVES with your boyfriend?
What????
I think it’s probably actually not an insignificant lie, and it’s also a huge red flag
The trouble is, one lie can make everything a lie.
That’s a weeeeeird thing to lie about. You should try to find out why he lied about it or if there’s some family history or something that makes this less weird. Because I don’t blame you for feeling like this is sus.
Maybe brother is more attractive and he’s insecure?