So to cut to the chase we were cleaning out our place when i found my old laptop. I wanted to save some old files before throwing it out. But it wasn’t turning on. So i asked my bf to get it running.
I guess he decided to move the files for me when he got it working. But when doing that he must have come across the video. My bf has been pretty vocal about he’s insecure about his penis being small( i got zero problems with his size).
So also my ex was into. I don’t really know exactly what to call it. Maybe size play/talk. So in the video. I am talking dirty/praising my ex about his size. I was also saying like that small dicks are “worthless” and stuff like that you know.
So I mentioned hes insecure before and like. I have been reassuring and talk him about that trying to make him feel better. He has also had bad experiences in the past with girls being mean about hes dick.
So I don’t really know what to do. We have completely stopped having sex for like 3 weeks right now. We used to have sex like 4 to 5 times a week. He also used to sleep naked and we used to shower together. Completely stopped that to. I think he’s afraid to be naked infront of me.
I dont know what to do. I got no problem with his dick size and the video was just me role playing for my ex
What should i do
Tldr: my boyfriend found old sextape with my ex who had a big dick. In the video me and my ex where also engaged in some size dirty talk/roleplay. My bf has always been insecure about hes dick (im fine with his size) but this has effected him really badly
Comments
1: Don’t make sex tapes.
2: If you do make a sex tape, delete them BEFORE you get serious in another relationship
3: This may not be fixable, though it was relatively unintentional, sometimes a thing gets broken and can’t be fixed.
Hopefully your BF takes this as an opportunity to work on his insecurities, but that’s a tall order considering what he just saw.
You do nothing. This is his insecurities. Do not apologize. Do not console him. Just say “that was just dirty talk he was into. I’m with you now and I love you.” And leave it at that.
I am afraid it’s more than likely this relationship will end. Tip for next time ensure if u have any sex tapes/nudes/ intimate photos delete them before hoping into a new relationship. Deep rooted insecurities like this don’t vanish if he can’t get over them you’re going to have to end the relationship.
Yeah there’s no coming back from this unfortunately
You guys and that relationship is f***ed
I never advocate for an ending of a relationship and im not now but i will tell you that even if you do manage to patch this up, everytime you don’t cum, he will have an issue or an insecurity flair up.
You need to find away that puts him above your ex in a way that’s more detrimental and important than penis size, then lean into that hard. Really boost his ego that way
Sorry this happened. You obviously did nothing wrong. This was definitely one of those out of no where things.
He’s never getting over this. He will probably use it against you every time you have a fight.
Why the fuck would he watch the whole video? He should have stopped the instant he knew what it was. This man was looking for reasons to be insecure and now it’s poisoned your relationship.
That’s a tough situation, but I think the key is supporting him without reinforcing the insecurity. Avoid saying things like “I love you even though you’re small” or anything that brings size into it even indirectly. Instead, focus on telling him how much you enjoy being with him, how happy you were with your sex life, and how much you miss the intimacy.
Let him know you feel bad that this is affecting his confidence, and that you understand why, but also remind him he deserves to feel confident and loved. Ask how you can support him in rebuilding that confidence.
He doesn’t need exaggerated compliments or sugarcoating he needs consistent, genuine reassurance that he’s enough, just as he is. Give him lots of TLC, affection, and patience. And yeah, make sure that anything of that sort never happens again. Partners should build each other up and this is one of those times where he really needs that from you. And with patience and a genuine heart i feel like you could get there.