My older sister has always had issues with mental health. She is bipolar with mania and has borderline personality disorder. We grew up with my mom who felt bad and used my sisters mental health issues as an excuse. At 29 she has learned to use it as an excuse for every bad decision she makes. Overspending? “Well I was manic”. Recently, she decided that she wants to leave her husband. Keep in mind he works full-time plus overtime at a factory so she does not have to work (she can’t keep a job). Because she will not get a job, she told me that her plan to leave her husband was to cheat on him until she finds someone to fund her life and then leave her husband for him (therefore taking her child with her). When she told me this plan, I made it extremely clear that I absolutely do not agree with this plan and will not support her cheating on her husband, and that if she really wants to leave, she needs to get a job and do it the right way. She started yelling at me so I hung up the phone. She immediately started texting me about how horrible I was for hanging up on her so I did not answer any texts. Over the next couple days she continued to berate over text message and Snapchat. The longer I went without answering the more angry she got. She eventually blocked me on social media because she was mad that I was not answering. I blocked her back and blocked her phone number as well, leaving her no way to contact me. I assumed that this would blow over as issues with her usually do, but it has not. She decided to admit herself to a psychiatric hospital the day of my nephew’s sixth birthday. I felt a pretty strong opinion about this, but I did not say anything to her about it. My nephew FaceTime me after she was admitted, and we talked a little bit about what he did for his birthday. My brother-in-law ended up taking the phone and ranting to me about issues with my sister. I pretty much just told him that I understood why he felt the way he felt about multiple situations (including her getting admitted on my nephew’s birthday, her putting the family in a financial bind by not working, etc). I did not give my opinion on pretty much anything he said. Since then, he apparently has twisted the conversation and told her inaccurate information that has pissed her off even more. According to my mom, she is continued to blow up my phone (which is fine because she is blocked). She ended up admitting herself to a psychiatric hospital again a few days later. She started calling and leaving voicemails from the unit phone as that phone number is not blocked. I did not respond. When she was released the second time she wrote and mailed me a seven page long letter detailing how she thinks I am a horrible person, how I abandoned her in a time of need, how I don’t deserve my career (I work in mental health), and how I have deeply wronged her. I genuinely do not feel like I have done anything wrong. Our dad cheated on our mom and cheating is something that I will never condone and she has known this for a long time (she has previously cheated on her husband, and I made it extremely clear at that point that I did not agree with what she did and never would. She also blamed it on being manic). I haven’t spoken a word to her since I blocked her a few weeks ago, and have no desire to continue being harassed. I’ve talked with my local prosecuting attorney to get information on a no contact order but was told I would have to press criminal harassment charges first. I’m not sure if this would really be the best option. Granted, I want her to leave me alone and I can block phone numbers, but unfortunately, I cannot just change my address. Would I be a horrible person for pressing charges and filing a no contact order if she doesn’t stop? I’ve spent 24 years of my life living in hell because of her and I’m tired of it. I’m tired of being told that I’m the biggest piece of shit on the planet every single time that I don’t agree with something that she does. I’ve told her not to tell me these types of things, but she continues to do it anyway. I have no desire to mend our relationship. I just want the harassment to stop. Anyone have any advice or go through a similar situation?
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You’re a good person, you don’t deserve that
You’ve already blocked her, and if she sends you a letter you can just throw it in the trash without opening it. She’s clearly unwell and her son is not in a great situation. If she starts showing up at your house or your work then I would get the n/c order. I can’t believe her husband is still with her.
You can’t reason with someone who is unreasonable. Do the right thing and give her husband a heads up.
You’re not unreasonable for wanting to defend your peace. If she’s harassing you, you are well within your rights to press charges.
Only you know how much of this you can put up with. But there’s no need to punish yourself. When you’ve reached your limit, take the next step.
It sounds like the hospital is the place she needs to be, but it doesn’t seem to be helping. Do what you need to to to protect yourself.