My (24M) girlfriend (25F) tested positive and is blaming me as a result because she tested negative for all STDs in September. We’ve been together a year and she swears up and down that she didn’t cheat on me. She showed no symptoms of having such STD. Her and her friends keep throwing the blame onto me and calling me out for cheating even though I did not cheat on her. I have a test scheduled tomorrow for STDs, but I also have no symptoms. Is this normal? What should I do? I’ve proclaimed innocence this whole time but she keeps saying shes “still trying to find a reason to believe me” even though I’ve never lied once in our whole relationship and I also haven’t lied here… I threw the ball in her court and asked her the same thing, have you been cheating on me? She also has proclaimed her innocence this whole time. We live together, she has my location, and we both work a lot of hours at our respective jobs. Thanks in advance.
TL;DR, girlfriend (25F) swears up and down I cheated on her and gave her chlamydia but it’s simply not true
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Why don’t you get tested? Not accusing you of having it. It may or may not clear the air, is this the first time you didn’t use a condom? Sometimes people carry STD’s, have no symptoms, or barely get tested. Take the steps to get rid of it if so.
ETA: You never got tested in your entire life and are flipping it on her. This is low.
Chlamydia is often asymptomatic. This is why regular testing is so important because otherwise you won’t know and get treatment.
When was your last sti screening? Is it possible you contracted it prior to the relationship?
Dude u probably gave her an STD, you’ve had unprotected sex multiple times and didn’t test between partners?
Three possibilities.
She fucked around behind your back and is gaslighting you.
You had it asymptomatically since the start of your relationship. (unlikely, but theoretically possible, but she would probably have shown symptoms sooner then this)
She had it asymptomatically from the start of your relationship and is now flaring up.
Ultimately, either you trust eachother: or you don’t. Ironically if it’s 2 or 3, both of you are probably going to doubt the other one regardless of having not done anything
Unfortunately though, one is most likely.
My best guess is that she is shocked and scared and taking it out on you. Both of you need to read a couple of reputable websites about chlamydia (decide to read the same ones), and/or talk to your medical providers about how it spreads. You might also look at all of her behavior over the last few months and consider whether she might be reacting this way as a cover-up for her own cheating.
Get your test. That will give you the answers you need. Good luck!
Get tested. When was your last test? Could you have been positive before you met her and not symptomatic?
If you genuinely never cheated and she’s been testing negative since you started having unprotected sex with her then it’s probably more likely she cheated and is hoping she can get you to admit that you’ve cheated and take the blame so she doesn’t have to admit to being the cheater.
If you do have it, it’s possible that you were asymptomatic and gave it to her since you have never been tested. Chlamydia can be very serious and impact fertility so it is a big deal. It’s possible that she may not want to be with you after this and if that’s the case, I hope that you can take what you’ve learned about the importance of getting tested and use that in future relationships. There are many STI‘s that show no symptoms.
After some brief chlamydia research i believe i narrowed down the 2 likely scenarios:
Chlamydia can lie dormant in someone and asymptomatic for up to 20 years before they ever experience a flare up- however even when dormant and asymptomatic we have tests that would still indicate infection regardless of symptoms- meaning if your girlfriend tested negative for these in September and has only been with you like she claims logically you are the original carrier, and likely contracted it from your earlier 4 women a week days.
I’ll echo what everyone else said and use what you also said in the comments:
The most likely explanation, assuming no adultery from either of you, is that you contracted it from a previous partner, and just never passed it onto her. It’s possible you’ve been asymptomatic for a long while.
As a rule, I would get regular STI screenings so long as you’re sexually active, or at the very least, before sleeping with a new partner.
I’m sure neither of you cheated on the other, but I’m of the opinion that if either of you suspects it, might as well just end it. Relationships without trust aren’t worth holding onto.
Holy shit you flipped it on her that she is cheating but YOU never got tested in your life while having multiple partners? I hope she finds someone better. Disregarding your health doesn’t mean its okay for to you disregard others.
Saw in your comments you’ve never given tested yourself, though obviously you’ve been with multiple partners in your life.
As it stands now, since she got tested 6 months ago, and was clean.
If she’s not been intimate with anyone else…
Your best case scenario is you haven’t been cheating, were an idiot and never got yourself tested, and have had an sti for quite some time you’ve shared with your gf.
You’ve cheated and don’t want to discuss in reddit, and picked up an STI over the past several months.
If she has been with someone else and got an STI…
If you’re clean, means you didn’t share it.
If you’ve got it, since you were foolish and didn’t bother getting tested at the same time, you’ll never know who gave it to who.
Take care of yourself, be more responsible with your health. It has larger effects when you make poor choices, as you’re discovering the hard way.
‘i didn’t have symptoms’ isn’t a clean test. Adult life has adult consequences. Make better choices, and hope your gf is forgiving.
Congrats if you don’t have it but if you do now she thinks you cheated on her bc you’ve never been tested. This is probably the end of your relationship.
males sometimes dont show symptoms for chlamydia you probably have had it for a while