We’re just about 6 months in. At first I thought it’s just a one time passing comment but it seems it’s a bad habit for her. She said it’s a fun activity to do with her friends.
I think there’s some insecurity on her part as well. What makes me even more bothered, is that she also likes to Photoshop herself to look thin and use one of those face editors that lets you change your face.
Honestly, I’d like to work on it if possible, but I’m not really sure how to approach this without offending her. This is undoubtedly a very sensitive topic for her.
How do I gently nudge my girlfriend to maybe reconsider her hobby?
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“Hey, it’s a super-turnoff that you like to call other girls ugly. It makes you seem like you have low self-esteem. Sorry if you’re offended, but this is gross behavior.” You gonna get worried about offending someone whose fun activity is making fun of gay people, or brown people…?
Firstly, I think you’re absolutely right that it’s an insecurity thing. How to “nudge” her to “reconsider her hobby” (hilarious phrasing by the way *chef’s kiss*) is compliments. Specifically face and body. Don’t over do it, she’ll get suspicious, just chuck in a few more when you would usually give her one.
Maybe after you two do the horizontal tango, i.e. during aftercare, compliment her. She’ll be glowing (if you do a good job) and the compliments might be better received. Then go and do some other fun activity. If it helps, treat it like a compliment sandwich:
Fun activity
Compliments
Fun activity
They don’t have to be big things, maybe she likes going on walks or maybe (if she’s feeling particularly down and unreceptive to compliments) dinner can be a your treat to her, make it a date. I think you get the point.
TL:DR Give her The Sandwich Treatment as seen above!
Mean girls do this. You might want to consider why you are dating her.
Tell her it’s not a hobby and that it’s rude and unattractive. Be real but compassionate. “Hey I’ve noticed you have this habit and I’m not a fan of it. I think you’re a beautiful woman and it’s a shame that you diminish your beauty by diminishing others.” Just be honest and say it’s not a good look
Calling people ugly and editing your pictures is NOT a hobby…crocheting is a hobby, so it reading, running, painting. Bullying is certainly not
My cousin does this, and she’s very insecure of herself. People who nitpick on others but continue edit their pictures hate themselves so they project on other people. It’s like looking for a bad thing in everyone to make yourself feel better. Have a talk with her, and calmly approach her about the problem, don’t be too blunt about the situation, as you said it’s a sensitive topic for her. She probably needs a compliment boost too, make her feel appreciated and special, all of this stems from her own insecurity and self-hate.