My girlfriend (23F) and I (25M) have been together for 8 years. We started dating in high school and have had a strong relationship ever since. I genuinely love her and plan to marry her one day. But the biggest problem in our relationship is her family—and recently, it’s getting harder to deal with.
Her dad barely acknowledges me. He often acts like he doesn’t even remember my name. Her grandmother is worse—she doesn’t treat me like family at all. She constantly makes snide remarks and goes out of her way to belittle me or make me feel inadequate. No matter what I do, it’s never good enough for her.
Lately, I’ve been going through a really hard time. I’ve been unemployed and trying every day to get back on my feet. I’m still managing to cover rent, car payments, and bills through side work and whatever I can find. But instead of being supportive, her family uses this to insult me or bring me down whenever I’m around.
This isn’t just a one-off thing. Her grandmother has a history of treating other men who’ve tried to be part of the family the same way. So I know it’s not entirely personal—but it still hurts. What bothers me even more is the double standard. Her brother’s girlfriend openly disrespects him and brags about being the breadwinner, but somehow she’s treated like family and praised. I’ve never cheated or mistreated my girlfriend. I’ve been loyal and respectful, and I just don’t understand why I’m always the one getting torn down.
My girlfriend has spoken to her family about it more than once, but nothing ever really changes. Now we’re about to go on vacation with her family, and honestly, I’m dreading it. I feel like I’m at my breaking point. I don’t want to explode or say something I’ll regret, but I’m tired of being disrespected and treated like an outsider.
What I want: I want to keep my relationship and build a future with my girlfriend, but I also need to protect my mental and emotional health. I’m trying to figure out how to handle her family without damaging our relationship or losing myself in the process.
TL;DR: My girlfriend (23F) and I (25M) have been together 8 years. I love her and want a future with her, but her family—especially her grandmother—constantly disrespects me. I’m at a low point in life and feel like I’m close to snapping. How do I handle this without ruining our relationship?