My boyfriend and I we were in a relationship since we were 21-22. We have grown so much together and put a ton of effort to build our relationship. We feel like we are better people now and compatibility is no question.
Last year, we told our parents about relationship. My parents were okay about us and wanted to get us married. His parents didn’t agree from the get go stating reasons like I don’t belong to the same caste as them(where I come from this is a dealbreaker) and I had bought my parents a house to live so they didn’t want someone who has financial liabilities. Since he is a single child they apparently want the best for him.
We fought for over an year, my boyfriend lived alone without his parents but he still could not confront them about what they were doing. In the middle of all the this, they tried to match our horoscopes which didn’t match as per their expectations. Even though it was a good match but they didn’t want to accept at as I was not according to their standards
His mom staged mulitple drams played multiple games. At the end they asked him to get married to me if he wants and that won’t participate.
Now he is choosing his mother over after all the emotional manipulation and how cheaply she treated him he is going over to her. I don’t know what else to do anymore.
TLDR: My boyfriend is choosing his mother over me even though she is emotionally manipulative and played multiple games to destroy this relationship.
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All you can do is tell him how sad it makes you to see him being manipulate by his mom. It’s sad he won’t stand up for love. He’s a pussy for wanting his mommy’s manipulative approval over your genuine love for him.
If you two got married his mom would eventually accept you. She’s all talk.
What can you do OP, your BF made his choice to cling to mummy.
Can you really try and be with someone who you know chooses other people over you? I couldn’t.
Leave. A man fights for what he wants and won’t stand for disrespect of the person he loves. A man’s basic responsibility is to also protect. He isn’t protecting you which means he doesn’t love you. Find a man that does
I mean… even though his mom did a lot of terrible things, she’s not the one you are in a relationship with. Your boyfriend can see everything you can, and he made the choice to choose her. He’s the one who owed you loyalty, and he didn’t give it to you.
If you had the right boyfriend, his mom could be the most evil villainous woman to walk the earth and it wouldn’t matter because he’d choose you.
So as much as it hurts, he’s done you a favor by showing you who he is before you got married.
Why did you wait until 3 years together to tell your parents ??
Mock him relentlessly I guess
Wow… he’s such a catch… surely there is no better man for you anywhere, ever… be sure not to let this one go…
/s
You will be better off without him. He sounds like he has not supported you. U will not win over his parents if u still live under a caste system.
I should you his true colours. Even if you got married, he’d probably still listen to his mother.
Also, his parents seeing you being fiancial independent as something negative shows you what kind of people they are. And don’t full yourself into thinking they want the best for their son. They want him to marry someone who’s financially dependant on him, so he and they are able to control his wife. If his parents wanted the best for him, they’d support him in the choices he makes for his life.
Even if he comes back… she is his mother and will make your life miserable! Your children’s lives miserable.
Better to move on now and find love elsewhere. Be happy with your friends and family till then. Shine like a diamond
OP, this will be your entire married life with this man. You constantly being put down, brushed off and placed second to your mother in law.
Can you imagine what that would be like if you had children?. How your in laws would tell you how to raise your children, how everything you do is wrong, even manipulating your children against you or not even acknowledging your children full stop.
OP, run the other way and don’t look back at them. You will meet the right person for you. Wishing you every success and happiness 🙏🏻
Seriously why get involved in people who believe in mumbo jumbo and social status? It’s 2025, move on.
There’s nothing you can do. He isn’t willing to choose his own happiness over his mother’s. You wouldn’t want to marry someone like that anyways. Good luck in the future.
You dodged a bullet.
No. let him go back to mommy, and let the trash take itself out of your life.
Don’t marry someone who puts other people above their spouse. Sorry. I know it hurts to look at him in a critical/negative light like this but he just showed you who he is when push comes to shove. That’s not a stable foundation to build a future with. A man will fight for what he desires. His desire for you was simply not sufficient. That’s not on you whatsoever.
Don’t take him back. He needs to learn that his decisions and actions have consequences, so that he can mature and become a better person for his next partner.
You do nothing as far as this child is concerned. You mourn the loss id the future you thought you had, and celebrate the fact you have lost the deadweight of a man who isn’t worthy of you.
Look forward, not back. Concentrate on yourself for a little. Concentrate on your job, your friends, and in a short while, look for a better match with a man who is capable of standing up for you, and whose family value you too.
Walk away, girlfriend. Walk away.
You didn’t need a mommy’s boy. You need a man.
You’re definitely from a South Asian Country. Ditch him. I’m brown too and these men never get out of their mother’s pallu.
Imagine the control that his family would have over your life in the future. Your partners attitude would depend on what they say to him.
Run.