I (26M) and my girlfriend have been in a relationship for 5 years. I have to preface that I am no saint in this relationship because I made her heart broken because around our second year, she found out that I had a porn addiction and what I did made her always questioning her body and her self worth. Her doing that makes me sad so I make a promise to myself to get to therapy and being clean from porn addiction. I’m proud to say that I don’t watch it anymore. I also only follow friends that I know and I only like photos that popped in my home feed.
Fast forward on yesterday, I was applying for jobs online and my girlfriend suddenly texts me “You never changed. Always liked photos of sexy girls that you don’t even know”. This makes me surprised and confused. I checked my like activity and scroll to what things that I liked that made her angry, I scroll far enough and I replied to her that I don’t find anything weird and sexual. Then she sent me what she meant. Turns out, she stalks my following and she found that I like all photos of my college friends on Instagram, but this friend lives in Bali so all she posts is photos in summer dress and tanktops. I explained to her that I only like anything that’s on my home feed (also I apologize because I don’t like her photos, the last time I like her photos was in April). She then told me to block this friend, so I did.
She then told me about how she always questioning her self worth because she thinks that she’s not my type of girl that I want, which I said it’s not true. And then told me about why I did what I did, which I genuinely have no idea that it wasn’t supposed to be allowed. I then said that I’m sorry to her and she said “apologize for what?”, I said “because I like everyone’s photos but I don’t like your photos enough”. She then said “well, that describes all of this”.
Now, this might look like an honest mistake, but a mistake is a mistake and I want to gain my girlfriend’s trust back. Currently I just scroll without liking anything and I already uninstalled Twitter app. How do I approach this so she can trusts me?
TL;DR In relationship of 5 years. Around year 2, she found out I have porn addiction. Girlfriend’s trust and self worth broken. Promise myself to get out of the addiction and finally clean but girlfriend still have doubts about me. Girlfriend stalked my Instagram’s following, found out I liked all photos of my college friend who happens to live in Bali so she only posts in dresses and tanktops. I said that I liked everything that’s in my timeline but that’s not enough for a rebuttal. Girlfriend told me to block her so I did. Girlfriend’s self worth broken again because of me.