Me and my girlfriend have been together for 1.5 years now, she is super sweet and silly and makes me happier than anyone else I have dated. Last weekend we went to my uncles 4th of July BBQ and it got crazy like it usually does, I drove that night so she got more drunk than I have ever seen her get before that point. At a certain point in the party we were all dancing to loud music and she was dancing with me and got really horny, right there on the spot she started begging me to have sex with her. I declined not only because we were both drunk at that point but because this is my uncle’s house and there are kids present on the other side of the house along with the rest of my family and i didn’t want to go through that. Despite rejecting her and saying we would later when we’re home she kept insisting and getting louder and louder each time, I started worrying she would eventually over power the music and some one would here her so it took her to the front of the house to try to calm her down. She started begging to go to my car to do the deed and I said no again because my car is parked in front of someone else’s house plus people at the party will notice we disappeared, she kept insisting and started walking to my car leaving me no choice but to chase after her, the second we got there the automatic light from the house came on and basically shined a light on us but the got on her knees wanting to go down on me after a few times of me firmly rejecting her she then then said “If you don’t do it, I’ll just find another guys dick to suck” I’d like to add the context that my previous relationship ended with my ex cheating on me and it was very traumatic for me, this is something I have shared with my current girlfriend and she has been supportive with me about it, she is silly sometimes but never like this it completely came out of left field. I sternly told her that wasn’t funny and i didn’t like that, she apologized and got up and before we could talk about it my folks from the party were looking for us just like I thought would happen. Later we went home and she passed out, the next morning she didn’t remember last night as well and I told her what happened, she said she doesn’t know why she would say something like that and started apologizing for it. It’s been a week since this happened and it still isn’t sitting right with me. Because of my previous experience I know the red flags when I see them and she isn’t talking with other guys, she’s also been hurt by an ex I don’t think she would cheat but the fact that she said that as a joke rubbed me the wrong way, is this something i should be worried about, am I reading too into the drunk rambling, she I talk with her more about this? I’m honestly stumped and want it to stop bothering me.
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Eh sounds like drunk rambling. She needs to feel terribly embarrassed and never drink like that again. Don’t read into it
She was drunk, cut her some slack. Don’t listen to the kids here who will say “drunk words are sober thoughts” because at a certain point your just wasted and it sounds like she was wasted.
You need to talk it out with your girlfriend.
You are owed a heartfelt apology, whether she remembers it or not. Just drunken nonsense though. I would not be concerned too much
Take her seriously. Drunk words are sober thoughts. It’s only a matter of time before she gets “too drunk”again and finds another guy’s dick to suck.
Good luck, but I wouldn’t consider this relationship viable anymore.
I’m sober. That means that I wasn’t for many years. I know a lot of sober people. Very rarely does someone say something drunk that is completely out of character. I’ll leave it there.
Yes, drinking lessons inhibitions. Sounds to me like girlfriend needs to stay off the fire water.
When she gets drunk like that again & you’re no where around….🚩
I don’t think she said it because she thinks of it. I do believe she said it to hurt you because she felt rejected and angry. That’s still not okay. But also, she was wasted.
But if a person acts poorly after drinking, they should take responsibility and not drink as much in the future.
drunk words arent sober thoughts because when i am black out drunk i lose about 30 IQ points and act super embarrassing
The problem is that she has broken the trust in the relationship. Maybe she wouldn’t do that, but you can’t be sure, and now you will never be confident in her- especially when she drinks.
My take on this is deep down, your girlfriend is very horny.
People who are drunk show who they really are.
Would she really look for another guy if the opportunity arose after you turned her down? Probably. If she was a guy, it would mean when drunk, the little head does her thinking.
You should develop a plan to make sure that set of circumstances never happens again.
If she said that she wants to give some guy a dick sucking then she has it in the back of her mind to give a bj to some guy. Watch when she drinks too much in the future. She seems like a very outgoing girl and seems to really enjoy sex. Good luck.
How often does she do this? Getting that drunk? If I were you, I would tell her that her dismissing it as a ‘joke’ is not cool with you. It’s not a joke, it’s a horrible thing to say to you. What would she feel if you tell her that you’d sleep with another woman when she doesn’t feel like having sex with you?
It’s drunk people doing drunk people things. She seems like a sweet girl that loves you. Next time control her intake and maybe have a chat with her that drinking to get drunk is never fun and she risks ending your relationship over issues like this. Hopefully that helps and she is better going forward. I wouldn’t dwell too much into it
Even if this is a joke she showed how she can’t be trustworthy of making the right choices while intoxicated. Plus a lot of times when people are drunk they just become a careless version of their own inner demons. That it’s one of those things you are always gonna have a lil anxiety now if she says it’s shots o clock
She showed you exactly who she is if you weren’t there, or she was out without you. Got that drunk, dude, she would have been sucking on some other guy.
Please don’t take this lightly. An apology is not enough. I am not saying you should break up with her, but you need to reexamine some things.
Get out of that relationship she’s already thinking of leaving you and maybe cheating
That would be a deal breaker for me from a GF. It takes a special type of woman to use sexual humiliation to get what she wants. Now you know.
She needs to stop drinking. If she’s this terrible at handling her liquor then she needs to stay away from it.
If a man said this to a woman, the advice would be to run and break up
I think that advice still holds regardless of the genders involved. Her commenting that she would chest on you when you say no to a sexy act is insanely disrespectful and boundary crossing
We all know that what is said and done while drunk is truth. I would discuss this further, not only to try and understand her threat of cheating, but also to understand why she became hyper-sexualised while drunk. That tbh is more of a red flag for me as it can indicate things like sexual abuse or other things that she hasn’t dealt with.
So, it sounds like you have chosen the wrong girl twice now.
It doesnt seem like you two are compatible. Id move on and look for a nicer girl. Maybe one that doesnt have a seinking problem. Or has more common sense. Like not getting wasted drunk at family gatherings.
Ive had plenty of girlfriends, and not one would ever even consider behaving like this.
Red flag. I’d be concerned if she got drunk and wanted sex when you weren’t around. I don’t think you can just ignore this as a joke or drunken statement that she didn’t mean.
My gf and I were at a family BBQ, at my uncle’s, we didn’t have any alcohol, but when everyone went inside for food we had sex in the pool. Then when we went into the house to change we had sex in the bathroom, before coming out for dinner.
How many times does your gf have to ask before you do it? Take her to a bathroom and satisfy her needs.
As for what she said, alcohol brings out our demons, she knew deep down how her statement would hurt you, she was feeling rejected so her inner demon made her say something that would hurt. In the future, just give her what she wants before the demon takes over.
I’d like to point out if the roles were reversed this would be taken extremely differently in the comments. You said no countless times and was pressured countless times to give in. There’s a word for that… if you were a woman and told anyone your boyfriend couldn’t take no for an answer and then threatened to get someone else off? It would be relation ending and people would call her a predator. The bigger issue here isn’t even the comment of possible cheating but the fact that she couldn’t respect you or take no for an answer. There were children present as well as family. If it wasn’t family and someone saw- both of you could’ve been put on a list. You need to have a serious conversation with her about the NUMEROUS red flags here & being “trashed” isn’t an excuse. Being drunk ≠ acceptable behavior.
In vino veritas
I do know. Guys do it too (husband) however in my early 20’s I used to say weird shit when I was drunk sometimes. Not meant to hurt just being stupid. I understand being triggered by it and maybe just see if it happens again. Just to be sure that she’s not taking advantage of your sensitivity. Have a talk and go from there. Perhaps you may benefit seeing a psychologist? In the end you have to live with yourself. Good luck. I really don’t see a problem though. PS. I’m 62 F married now for 35 yrs and was a psych nurse.
There are different types of drunks, the angry ones, the “I love you man”, and the “horny bad decisions”….
She’s 27, not a college freshman getting drunk for the first time and loosing control. If this is her behavior drunk, you’ll have to be there and watch her every time or deal with her getting drunk and finding any guy…