my (27F) husband (27M) might remove me from social media for his career?

r/

My (27F) husband (27M) is trying to make it in the music industry. He’s had labels look at him before, but apparently having his significant on his social media was something that was viewed negatively.

He’s been viewed by labels recently and told that he should take down posts of us, which ultimately would make him look single. I am torn about this. I want him to succeed but feel a little yucky about him appearing single which will eventually bring unwanted attention. He doesn’t want to be a sex symbol, it’s about music…but ultimately I believe if labels care then they’re marketing for that…it’s to draw fans by them being attracted to you and wishing they could be with you. I could be wrong, of course, but I am just now sure about the whole thing. He respects my opinion and ultimately wouldn’t do anything without my permission, but this is his dream career that he’s worked so hard for.

I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or overthinking…just want some advice & opinions.

So…If you are a musician or other type of influencer trying to make it, should you post your significant other, whether dating or married, to your social media? Or would it be better to appear as if you’re not taken in order to gain a bigger following? Do labels (for music) and brands care? How would doing this generally affect a partner?

TLDR; husband is becoming famous & we’re considering keeping us private to gain fans

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

    Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:

    • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

    • We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.

    • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

    • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

    • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

    • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.

    • Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.

    • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

    If you have any questions, please message the mods


    This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.


    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  2. Lucky-Impact-7136 Avatar

    Why wouldn’t he make a professional account where he only posts his music stuff, and keeps his personnal account prívate for family and close friends ?

  3. Taylor5 Avatar

    For the fans? Yeah ok

    No offence dude, but if he wants to remove you from socials its for groupies, not fans

  4. Danandcass Avatar

    If I were him, I’d tell a label that wants me to distance myself from my spouse, to go pound salt. Their version of success is insincere.

  5. thenord321 Avatar

    If he needs social media for a public facing job, he needs to start a 2nd social media specifically for that purpose and keep a private family+friends profile.

  6. OrmEmbarX Avatar

    Is this something HE told you, or did you actually hear somebody say this to him?

  7. LadyFoxfire Avatar

    What genre of music is this? I’ve heard of this being a thing for K-pop idols, but not for other genres.

  8. abba-zabba88 Avatar

    This one is tough. My bestie I married to a famous athlete he didn’t post much of her until he was well into the fame. Now he posts her here and there. Have girls thrown themselves at him? Yes. Has he thrown his whole life away for them – absolutely not. It sucks and only you two can make the decision, I am only sharing to show you it is possible. Sucky but possible.

  9. PersimmonDowntown297 Avatar

    Are you sure they’re not saying that he needs to make his socials less personalized in general and focus on the music/profession?

    Definitely just make a new account or turn the old one into the business account if you don’t want to lose the followers and make a new private account. I personally wouldn’t care unless/until he gave me a reason to.

  10. Mmoct Avatar

    No this doesn’t seem right. This sounds like something they would have done decades ago (keeping martial status a secret) now anyone with 5 mins and internet can learn almost everything about you
    This is either a case of a shady label or a shady husband

  11. FairyCompetent Avatar

    Hi, my husband works in music distribution, runs a label and is in a band. They have a record in pressing now, release date is October.

    The way they and most other professional musicians run social media is to have it completely separate from their personal social media. Being a musician is a business, he needs to run it like a business. All his SM should be linked to each other and also to a streaming platform. He should have a public social media for his music and a locked down private social media for himself. He networks from the professional account, never from the personal account. No random fan should be able to discover what your name is, what you look like, or where you live from his professional page.

  12. lornacarrington Avatar

    Can’t he just have a professional account and also a personal one he keeps private? Pretending not to have a partner is a separate thing and if ppl are telling him that’s what he needs to do, I question their “industry” expertise

  13. Roachinghour Avatar

    If he does become famous then you probably don’t want fans to have easy access to you either. If he’s not a cheater, he is not going to cheat. Fans can become fixated and think they can reach him through you.

  14. ChickenScratchCoffee Avatar

    He should make a professional account. On there, he wouldn’t ever need to post his spouse or family.

  15. henicorina Avatar

    Have you actually seen the messages telling him to do this? Because I would bet money what they actually said was “clean up your socials and make them more public-facing” and he’s just decided to erase you.

  16. Dizzy-Hotel-2626 Avatar

    I happen to have a friend who is a very well known musician. He has one account which is public, and one under a slightly different name for his personal friends.

  17. Kir-ius Avatar

    I’ve met some influencers from travels, and friends who use it for business and here’s my understanding.

    It’s about his brand and who he is, not about you. It’s not about cutting you out. It’s not about looking single for fans to creep. Whether he is or not there will still be fans who creep. It’s just how he handles those boundaries, can’t control what others do

    Part of it is also for your protection to not have you posted all over. Same with kids or other family members to keep them out of it. They also want to see him, not other people no matter who they are. Even if it’s his parents, it has nothing to do with his work