For context me and my partner have been together for a long time, about 7 years, and we have a child together who is 4. She grew up relatively healthy and in a household where they didn’t have much money for fast food etc.
We started dating and I got a fairly well paying job, and the lifestyle inflation started. We both started cooking less and eating out more. I put on around 20kg over the years (controlled mostly by my very active job) but due to her office job her weight gain was much more significant. It was at a level where I was still physically attracted to her but knew we had to make a change.
I started dieting, counting calories, eating healthier options, and returned to my old weight. No matter what I tried, over many attempts over the years, I couldn’t get her on board. She would tell me that “she would just eat healthier” which mostly ended up meaning she would eat “healthy meals” sometimes, and then snack on junk food anyway. Her weight gain continued.
My job means I’m not at our house for days at a time, and during those periods of time she wouldn’t cook at all, and would UberEats every meal. My breaking point recently was when I checked my bank account and saw she had been spending over $100 every day on UberEats, plus buying groceries which would mostly end up untouched (aside from school lunches for our child thankfully). I had been trying to save money and didn’t realise she had been obliterating my savings with her junk food addiction.
I no longer feel physically attracted to her. Weight gain after having a child is understandable and I’m even fine with her being overweight but… the weight gain started well before the child, and she’s now heavily obese and refuses to take any serious action toward it. Our sex life is nonexistent. The financial side is stressing me out as well, she spends so much money on food and it’s very hard for us to save money, despite my well paying job.
I’ve had several heart to hearts with her over the years about this. She says all the right things, seems like she understands and yet nothing changes ultimately, and if she keeps gaining weight at this rate there’s a good chance she ends up dying in the near future. What else can I possibly do here?
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I know most men prefer thicker women…………………………………….. Honestly, you should love her regardless of her size/ weight. You should be in love with her as a person/ soul. Our bodies are going to change over time- that’s a given…. BUT if she is just being unhealthy & lazy have a conversation with her. Tell her You want her to feel her best for HER
Words don’t mean shit when action doesn’t follow.
It’s ultimatum time.
Guess she’s not the one you want to grow old with?