We were at the grocery store the other day, and this woman in front of us was buying a LOT of garlic. Like… suspicious amounts. My partner leans in and says, “What do you think she’s making? A potion?” Except he didn’t lean in. He just tilted his head 10% and said it at full volume. This man thinks whispering is just vibes. The woman heard. She turned around. I tried to save us by laughing like he was joking, but then he doubled down: “No seriously. That’s gotta be like… 40 cloves.” She was very polite and said, “I cook in bulk,” and he just nodded like she’d confirmed his suspicions. This happens constantly. He once “whispered” to me at a restaurant, “That guy behind you looks like he’s been crying.” THE GUY HEARD. Because again: no actual whispering occurred. He doesn’t mean to be rude he just genuinely believes he’s being subtle when he absolutely is not. I love him. But he’s a human megaphone.
Do you date someone with zero volume control in public spaces??
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Not exactly, but I have a friend who can’t really wink, she has to really obviously close both eyes to do it. This seems somehow like a related issue.
it is a bit awkward, you gotta tell him he’s being inappropriate and it’s embarrassing for you, especially if the strangers aren’t cool about it, he could get in some trouble.
but honestly, if that’s the biggest issue your partner has, you got a good one.
So is he from New York or Boston?
I had a friend like that. I used to tell him he must have learned to whisper in a hurricane. Make him practice at home, he can learn volume control, he just has to put in the effort.
Not date but i have a friend like that. I always wait till the person im talking about is gone and tell them, so they dont fucking scream that shit out loud.
You just need to make him understand, that talking about other people is a rude behaviour, and if he needs to do it in public, he needs to be discreet.
Tell him that he needs to text you when you are in public!
He should get his ears cleaned at the doctors. He maybe can’t hear so well.
Haha my mom is similar. God love her but for example, we’ll be in a nice restaurant and she’s almost yelling when telling a story. She legitimately has zero volume control. I think we’ve all tried to politely say something over the years – doesn’t change a thing – so I just grin and bear it. I also have a loud voice but I’ve learned how to control it thanks to hearing her all these years. 🤪
Can’t you just have a conversation with him about it. You don’t have to attack him – just explain that you don’t think he realizes how much his voice carries when he says private things – suggest he work on his whisper voice or simply save saying these things until in private.
Reddit taught me ages ago that a much more efficient way to whisper is do it on an inhalation not an exhalation.
Apparently how the military does it.
Try it. It’s pretty cool how much of a difference it makes.
Reddit just allowed me to pay it forward , so to speak. (said while inhaling
!)
Tell him to stop speculating about other peoples business. People he doesn’t know. Things that have got NOTHING to do with him. That should stop it.
Lol I got it the other way, the wife practically whispers most of the time she talks. Can never hear her!
Just tell him to stop saying things that he doesn’t want everyone to hear.
In your grocery store example, he totally didn’t care that the woman heard him, but you did.
Maybe he’s not controlling his volume bc he doesn’t care that strangers hear his thoughts.
“This man thinks whispering is just a vibe” I relate so hard to this, my fiance blew his ear drum divijg and cannot hear out of his left ear, he too cannot whisper but I have just gotten to where I tell him hey that’s loud babe and he gets it now. If it’s unintentional behavior I feel like it can be corrected with some thought on their parts as long as we gently remind them when necessary; which is a small sacrifice to be in an overall healthy and happy relationship imo
I’m sorry…. are you my wife??
Lol…. this had me laughing so hard!
Thank you!
This guy sounds so awesome
Do it to him and once he’s embarrassed enough he’ll stop.
Watch Miranda, her mother has a tendency to emphasize the wrong words when trying to be subtle lmfao it’s hilarious.
I don’t think the only issue is him not knowing how to whisper but why is he judging people who are minding their own business
I hate to tell you this. But you’re in denial. HE IS RUDE. And he has some sexist nerve, inferring that the woman buying garlic in bulk was cooking up a witch’s potion. He made sure she heard him. And then he didn’t drop it either.
I’ve never dated anyone like that, but my co-worker once stood next to me in the bar at work event, and loudly whisper shouted «That bartender is definitely gay».
The music wasn’t even that loud. Still makes me cringe.
Tell him not every thought that enters his head needs to come out his mouth… at all.
MUCH LESS AT FULL VOLUME!!!!
40 cloves would only be about 4 or 5 heads of garlic. That’s not very much garlic.
WHY are men like this 😭
Dammit. Of course you can’t post GIFs in the comments.
I wanted to post the GIF of will Ferrell in an SNL skit talking about how he can’t control the volume of his voice lol
But did he not realise from the reactions that he was clearly too loud?
I can relate to your partner, I have this same issue because I can’t tell that I am being loud at all, growing up I got my ears tested and no issue but there just seems to be a thing with hearing myself talk causing my volume to be louder then I intended. You could try having him getting his ears flushed out maybe
I talk louder than I realize because I can’t hear worth a damn anymore, even with hearing aids
My husband and I both hear very, very well. My husband likes to think this means when he whispers something to me, no one else can hear – and I think that you never know who hears like we can.
We’ve talked about it – I believe that a true whisper is just breath. the moment your vocal cords are engaged it’s not a whisper.
That might be an easy distinction for your partner to lean on, too
Maybe he has voice immodulation, also known as Van Ortons syndrome.
My lady’s can’t whisper either. Drives me crazy but 🤷🏻♂️
He should stop worrying about what other people are doing and judging other people maybe
So you’re dating a Golden Retriever… there are quite a few of us out there! 😁
I had a friend like that. She was a loud talker and liked to shit talk strangers, like in passing. “Look at those shoes, bag…” “Couple is mismatched” that kind of shit you whisper BUT NOOOOOO. Sitting down having coffee and I have to lie and say I need air so we can go to outside tables to not have people hear her judgments. I just stopped hanging with her.
I don’t know if it’s cuz they are deaf. I think they grew up in families where there were a lot of people. Like extended families. Lots of kids. You had to talk loudly to be heard or get attention.
My dad was like this. Embarrassed me on many occasions, not only as a teenager.
You can get a decimal sensor on Amazon for under $20
My kiddo didn’t believe how loud he was when playing video games, until I showed him the numbers.
He had a headset on, and was excited, so the random talk didn’t FEEL loud to him.
Showing him a whisper, normal talking, yelling, and screaming numbers helped a lot.
It also helped him understand how loud it carried through the house, because I able to go to the furthest room and yell at his volume and he was horrified how loud he was.
I’m so sorry but I laughed so hard. My husband does this and if I say “don’t look now but….” He whips his head around to look. He’s so not aware that I just have to laugh it off. We had his hearing checked. It was perfect. 😂
This truly had me laughing out loud. 🤣
I’m sorry this is hilarious.
One time maybe 15 years ago me and my wife were walking into a Fry’s Electronics. There was this PT Cruiser with flames on it and I was just going in on the car and whoever owned it thought flames on a PT Cruiser was a good idea.
There was one other person walking towards us, I thought briefly about toning it down, but figured “what are the chances. There’s 50 cars around us.” So I continued my vile diatribe against my better judgment. The man walked right past us, put
his head down and got into the PT Cruiser with flames.
Sorry flaming PT Cruiser owner
My wife is the opposite – she’s unable to communicate with any human being in public because she’s convinced everyone has superhuman hearing abilities. She whispers quieter than a mouse fart, and then gets frustrated when no one can hear her.
I tease her by whispering, at a normal level of whisper, really inappropriate things in public, to which she squirms, slaps my arm, and tells me to stop it, though no one has ever acknowledged hearing me when I do that.
The only person who can seem to hear her, is her mother, but I’m convinced that’s telepathy, because otherwise, her mom is borderline deaf (like, one of those people who has the volume on her TV turned up to maximum every time you go over, and has no idea that it’s loud).