My (28M) girlfriend (28F) is incredibly insecure, and it’s damaging our relationship and my perception of her. Is there anything that can be done?

Long story short, we met last year through a friend, and we immediately hit it off. We are really different, but at the same time really similar, and I feel we balance each other out well. About 4 or 5 months ago, she began having problems with her roommates, saying they didn’t include her and didn’t really appreciate her. Immediately after, she started saying similar things to me, with comments like “you don’t appreciate me,” “you don’t think I’m enough,” “you actually don’t want to be with me,” “you feel sorry for me,” and so on. I have been supportive, and she acknowledges that, but now our relationship is built on a constant need for validation and reassurance. I understand that everyone wants to feel loved and confirmed, but this is almost a daily occurrence.

Here are a few examples:

• She’s an artist and, after the issues with her apartment, she stopped painting. For Valentine’s Day, I organized a home-cooked meal and bought a canvas for both of us to share, and she immediately said, “you could be doing this with any girl, it hurts me a lot.”
• We were out with her friends and it was 4 a.m. (based on Europe) when I mentioned that I was very tired and needed to go home; normally, she would come with me, but that night a friend was staying over at her place, so she didn’t. Her response was, “it hurts me a lot that you want to leave, you don’t want to be here.”
• I went with her to a comic convention she was interested in, and afterwards we enjoyed a picnic at a park, and she said, “it really hurts me that when we break up, this won’t happen again,” and started to cry.
• When I invited her to a friend’s birthday party, she asked if I really wanted her there, and she ended up arriving several hours late because she was convinced I didn’t want her at all.

I have tried to be supportive, empathetic, and validate her feelings, making adjustments so that she doesn’t feel insecure, but this has become a constant part of our interactions. Every time we meet, we spend at least two hours talking about what made her feel insecure, and I can see in her face that once I reassure her, it’s like she’s getting a fix. She always looks at me with a hint of panic, waiting for something to confirm that I might not love her or prefer to be elsewhere, and I worry that this cycle is creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

We have talked about it, and I have tried to explain how this constant need for reassurance makes me feel. She listens and acknowledges it, but after a couple of weeks, the cycle restarts. She began therapy, but she said it stirred up issues she didn’t want to face, then she switched to someone who seems more like a life coach than a therapist.

Yesterday, I snapped at her. She was talking about missing her hometown and how happy she would be during the Easter break there, and when I suggested that, since she can work from home, maybe she should stay a few extra days, her reaction was to ask, “what, don’t you want me here? Do you want me to stay there forever? We had said we’d see each other after Easter, don’t you want that?” She went on at length about it, and I lost my temper, telling her she was torturing me and that the situation was unbearable. I felt like I couldn’t do or say anything without her suddenly feeling incredibly insecure, as if my only role was to validate her, leaving little room for anything else but relationship issues. Needless to say, that hurt her feelings, and although we talked it out and ended on acceptable terms, the lingering feeling remains.

I don’t want to break up with her because I love her and still see the real person behind this insecurity, but I also fear that part of me may have contributed to making things worse, and I simply can’t continue like this for much longer. We met a year ago, and this behavior started 5 months ago, which is almost half the time we’ve known each other. Maybe we’re just incompatible, or maybe this isn’t meant to work out. I don’t want to keep hurting either of us.

So, does anyone have any suggestions, advice, or just an outsider perspective on the matter? I’ll answer all your questions because I don’t want it to seem as if I’m placing all the blame on her, I know I have a part to play as well.

TL;DR:
We met last year and hit it off, but for the past 4-5 months, her constant need for reassurance has taken over our relationship. I still love her, but I’m reaching a breaking point and wondering if we’re really compatible. Any advice or insights are welcome.