My 29F boyfriend 33M has a crush on his roommates girlfriend – how do I navigate this?

TLDR; my boyfriend claims his best friends girl hits on him, but he entertains her behavior.

I apologize that this is so long, but this shit had me f*ckd up.

For starters, this has been an “issue” since the beginning of our relationship. I didn’t really think of it as an issue back then, but now 5 months into the relationship I’m wondering if it’s time for me to walk away.

When I first started dating my boyfriend, his roommate (one of his best friends) had also just started dating a woman named Bri.

My boyfriend and I had known each other for years before we started dating which I guess is somewhat of an important detail. He isn’t just some new dude in my life.

I’ve brought this up to him before and he swears that he isn’t into her.

But here are some things that have happened that made me develop this impression, and I wonder if it sounds just as bad to all of you:

1. Before our third date, Bri was over at their place and my boyfriend took a shower. He texted me that “this b**ch is so weird” because apparently she kept staring at his dick while he was wrapped in a towel.

He then said that she “cornered” him when he was putting on his shoes and tried to flirt with him, but that I have nothing to worry about “because she’s ugly”.

Later that evening after our date, we ended up back at his place. Bri and the other roommate were sitting around the fire. We joined them.

I immediately clocked that Bri is not ugly at all. In fact, she was universally pretty. Tan skin, bright white smile, long shiny hair, short, big boobs.

My boyfriend took the seat next to Bri and had me sit next to his roommate. He then spent the next 20 minutes only talking to Bri, about both of their kids and essentially how much they have in common, and Bri kept hyping herself up by describing how hard her nursing degree is going and said both of their kids should hang out.

When both the guys left to grab drinks, I tried to make conversation with Bri, and she blatantly ignored me.

1. Bri and her dog quickly essentially moved in. My boyfriend, his daughter, and Bri would spend time alone at the condo pool nearly every day. Due to his roommates schedule, he spent a lot of alone time with Bri in that apartment.

During this time, he kept telling me about times that Bri cornered him again and made a move at him again.

I hadn’t met his daughter yet so I wasn’t invited to these mid week hangouts just yet. But if I called, him Bri and his daughter were always hanging out and laughing around.

For someone that’s so bothered about being hit on, I found his enthusiasm about Bri troublesome.

He would post Snapchat stories of him and Bri at the pool giggling and throwing their daughter around like they’re some sort of family.

1. He wouldn’t shut up about Bri in casual conversations. While she was around and we’d be doing our own thing at my place, he brought her up nearly every hour. “Bri said this… Bri likes this… Bri is going through this…Bri wants our kids to meet”.

“Bri hit on me again…”

We’re on a beautiful hike together and we’d be sharing a conversation. He then switches the subject to Bri and spends 20 minutes talking about her.

I switch the subject. A few minutes go by. He goes back to talking about Bri.

1. My boyfriend releases that his roommate posted Bris naked pictures with her bare breasts in the group chat.

He told me he was having a conversation alone with Bri around the fire when she started bragging about her tattoos, and how awkward it was for him to sit there and pretend he doesn’t know exactly where they are nor that he has seen her naked.

Pretty weird shit to say to your girlfriend. At this point he was fully telling on himself.

1. He invites me to the pool one day. Before I get there, he said he “has something to tell me because he wants to be honest with me”.

When I get there, he tells me that the two chicks in the pool (who laughed when I hugged him) came up to him and told him he looks cute and asked for his Instagram, and that I should make out with him and “show these chicks” what’s up.

By now, I confronted him about Bri, about how messed up it is that he hasn’t told his roommate and best friend about her behavior, and that at this point, because her and I have hung out on several occasions, the fact that she’s hitting on my man is reason enough for me to raise my voice about the situation.

All of a sudden, my man switched the tune that perhaps he was reading too much into it because she kept giving him “those eyes”.

She said Bri wants to come over to the pool so my boyfriends daughter can meet her daughter.

While at the pool, Bri ignores me. Doesn’t say hello. Goes immediately into throwing my boyfriends daughter around the pool.

By the end, my boyfriend asks Bri to put his daughter on her shoulders for a picture.

Bri “covers” her tits but is just really smooshing them together. My boyfriend posts it on his story. Zero pictures of us.

I go to tan. As I’m laying down and Bri walks by, my boyfriend scans her whole body up and down and stares at her tits. Almost in a daze.

1. My boyfriend officially asks me out. A week after that, Bri dumps my boyfriend’s roommate.

My boyfriend can’t stop talking about how Bri left but he doesn’t know why. He starts acting sort of sad and down for the next week.

A whole month goes by. All is well.

1. Last weekend, my boyfriend’s roommate threw a party while we were at my place. My boyfriend comes home to a mess. He then tells me, “and I know Bri is back, I saw the dog bed back in the living room”.

He spends the rest of the day acting distant and in his head. He’s typically extremely cheerful.

We go to a sports game. He brings Bri up again out of nowhere. I tell him he’s telling on himself again, and that he’s made it very clear he’s into his chick.

He tells me I’m wrong.

And now, my boyfriend is back to acting more distant. We typically send each other a million reels per day and react to them all. He no longer reacts to mine and no longer sends me heartfelt reels about being in love.

The reels I get now are all about how a man would love it if his girl would send him some “pics” and sexual things only.

Last night, we were watching a movie with his daughter. His daughter was cuddled up to me. My boyfriend was next to me but barely touched me. He then suggested the episode we are viewing will be the last because it’s late and I should probably go home. It was only 9 PM, I typically leave before midnight.

My boyfriend kept his phone upside down on the table the whole time.

His daughter and I go to walk my dog. When we come back, we enter through the back living room sliding door. I can see through the window that he’s snap chatting someone. He notices us and quickly puts his phone in his pocket all hurried.

He kept his phone in his pocket the rest of the movie night. I felt it buzzing but he wouldn’t check it. He typically checks it right next to me.

He asked me to tell him when I’m home and I did. He read the message and didn’t respond. I tell him that I’m going to bed and wish him sweet dreams and that I love him. He doesn’t say “I love you” back and just tells me “goodnight beautiful”.

This morning, I texted him a good morning and an I love you. He’s definitely up and at work by now, and usually responds by now. He tells me to have a good day, no “I love you” back.

We are supposed to go to a birthday this evening. He has made zero mention of that, but did mention that he got invited to a wedding but unfortunately did not get a +1 and that therefore I cannot go.

Does the above sound as bad to you as it does to me? Some of my friends say this situation is pretty awful and they would have left by now. Others say I’m doing my usual overthinking and self sabotage.