my (29f) friend (40f) disappeared out of my life when i was going through a crisis. then reappeared. what do i say?

tl;dr: a friend from an extremely one-sided friendship reappeared after ghosting me in the midst of my crisis.

the full:

i was the caring (read: i gave too much and didn’t give myself anything) friend always there for her, bought her many gifts (i love giving to my friends), always there when she needed me, and heard every terrible thing going on in her love life, listened to the same trauma dumps on repeat… was honest with her, etc, etc

i was also there for her when her friends weren’t. there were things she’d tell me that she was ashamed of that she kept from them.

key issues in our friendship have been that she is self-centered, doesn’t listen, and isn’t there. experienced a close death for the first time, she never asked if i was ok, family drama had me banned from the funeral despite the main family wanting me there. we got over that.

someone in her family dies, she’s not able to go to the fune, and she’s taking her anger out on me and is upset i don’t give her grace (ie. just let it go), despite the fact i was trying everything to be there for her. she later apologized about that

there was a weekend we spent together wherein she just talked only about herself, continued to unload all the old trauma i’d heard about, and at one point ate all the food i’d bought for myself, was wearing my clothes, and when she ordered food for herself, she let me have one item.

when i got home, i just collapsed. i’d lost a job i was really excited about that week (ofc she didn’t care or ask), and was going through inner sadness due to some extreme loneliness. so i had a crisis. all old issues in my life just overtook me and i reached out to her and was like hey im going dark for a little bit because i don’t want to live anymore. she said reach out if you need me.

so i exile myself for awhile and she reaches out to me saying she needs me. i don’t respond because im spending the days crying and staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out a reason to stay alive when i felt i didn’t have any.

we linked up later that week and she says i’m always there for her but she’s never there for me. we reconciled. some things happen later on wherein i realize i still need more time away from everyone. during this time shes still being her (ie. aloof, apathetic).

she reached out to me one day and i responded saying hey dude im finally alright and i’ve realized things about life now. i get no response. i called. no answer. i thought it was weird, but figured she’d eventually get back in touch. it’s to the point i thought she was dead because we had a habit of texting all the time and she’d always send me stuff to look at.

i reconcile the idea of never hearing from her again.

i told my best friend, and i also told my therapist i think ive been ghosted by her but i don’t mind. i’d come to realize that the way i acted in that friendship came from a place of low self-worth.

i grew up in a household where i was spoiled with gifts and everything i wanted, but emotionally neglected (as well as physically abused), and i picked up some extremely bad habits from it. people walking in and out of my life was a normal thing as a child. unilateralism the same.

i’d realized like – ok this is done. and i acted in a way that was detrimental to myself and im not gonna do that again.

then today i got a text out of nowhere acting as if nothing has happened, inviting me to dinner, and to spend time.

i haven’t even processed it yet.

what do i say to her??