Long story short my husband has been doing yoga for about a year now. I found out via a social media post on his yoga instructors page that they did a “one on one” session which involved hiking. I have since found out he’s been doing a bunch of one on ones with her and not telling me. A lot more has happened with this situation including him buying her artwork. He told me he would be honest moving forward because I told him it made me uncomfortable that he was doing one on ones and not telling me. I want to make it clear I am okay with him having a female yoga instructor and even the one on ones but the lying makes it sus. I found out by looking at his watch that they are doing a class that’s totally outside of her offerings TOGETHER. On her birthday. He did not disclose this to me. I have not confronted him but am debating just showing up to this class. What do you think I should do here?
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Come on, this is all very suspicious. Why don’t you ask if you can join next time? Or just show up.
Don’t be naive there is more to their relationship than professionalism. He is having an affair if he’s hiding their dates. Yes they are going on dates. One on one outside of the place is not yoga its dates.
Definitely show up at these classes. The other people will be shocked that he’s married. They guarantee are flirting with each other.
cheating starts as soon as you begin covering up behavior that you don’t want your partner to find out about.
Show up and embarrass him.
Or the night before call him out and tell him if he doesn’t stop all sessions now and blocks her without giving her closure he can move out.
But I’d definitely Show up and embarrass him.
” I thought we had an agreement”
Then I’d tell him if front of his gf to get his shit and get out of your house.
He’s dating the yoga instructor. They’re literally going on dates — hiking, attending classes outside of the ones she teaches, he’s buying her things, and there are absolutely more things happening than just the ones you’re aware of.
Personally, I think you’d be wasting your time showing up to the class, you’ll only be hurting yourself more. I would gather all the documentation you have, assess if you think this betrayal is something you could move past in couple’s counseling, and consider a separation. This is really bad, I hate to say.
Look, I think Reddit jumps to “he’s cheating!!!” far too often… but come on.
Even if he’s not cheating. He’s buying her artwork? They’re going hiking together? Going to what sounds like a couples yoga class? For her birthday?
Show up to the class if you want, but prepare yourself for the worst. Or have a conversation, but don’t accept his excuses.
Was there a higher heart rate during that session? Higher than usual that might mean they are doing other “activities”.
I want to clarify I don’t think he’s having an affair. Our relationship is really good excluding his hiding this. I am not sure if he’s hiding it because he knows it will upset me or if there are feelings there. His yoga instructor is very much also in a long term relationship. I just don’t like the hiding/lying and I am uncomfortable with how friendly they are. We also have a one year old daughter.
What activity is outside her offerings?
Are these one on one’s expensive compared to group?
I’d just say it straight: “Hubby, let’s discuss these yoga sessions and how they’re making you feel.” Right?
He’s cheating on you. Get tested.
He is cheating on you and you’re falling for his awful excuses.
He is at least emotionally cheating. Having to hide what you are doing is never a good sign.
This is at least a “this ends now” conversation. Also, insist on access to his phone. You will learn as much if he refuses as you would if he gives it to you.
Emotional cheating is still cheating. Why hasnt he invited you to ANY of these? My wife goes where I go unless she doesnt want to, her invitation is always open in my life. He is hiding something
I mean… sure as hell sounds like he’s dating her.
Yes, show up do you know for sure what’s going on. Ask him to get a new instructor and you want to pick him.
They’re building some kind of relationship. He’s helping her financially by buying her artwork, taking her on “dates”, and doing classes that are outside of her studio. So this is no longer about him doing something for himself; he’s taking care of her and becoming engrained in her life. They may not even realize it yet and/or are still pretending they are being respectful of their own partners but this screams emotional affair, and he’s on the precipice of something more.
I’d print out the definition of emotional affair and leave it out for him. See how he responds to it. Hopefully it’s a wakeup call, and he’s thoughtful, embarrassed, and apologetic. If he gaslights and dismisses you, that is the time to hit him with the fact that you know he’s also taking her out for her b-day. Ask him what you are supposed to think about that. Find out (in advance) the name of her partner and ask, “What do you think [Insert guy’s name here] would think about you taking his gf out for her b-day?” His response will tell you everything you need to know.
Good luck.
They’re taking a class together… on her birthday? Unless they have been friends for ages, before you started dating, hell-to-the-no.
Time to get that lawyer & that private investigator on the phone
Look, don’t tolerate this behavior. I would flat out say “Planning plan dates with your yoga instructor on her birthday is completely inappropriate. All of that attention, the one on ones, the gift buying is out of line. You need to cease all communication with her immediately.
It’s not about having friends of the opposite sex, it’s about him lying and hiding it. It’s about him having a girlfriend while married and her posting the shit on her socials.
She’s not stupid. She knows this behavior is wildly inappropriate. I’d show up. He picked the wrong one if he thinks I’d deal with some shit like that. And I wouldn’t give AF if he was embarrassed. He’s making a mockery of you and your marriage by continuing to date while married.
You deserve better
I always amazed that Reddit thinks everyone is cheating.
But, a one on one, outside her offerings, on her birthday?!?
Girl, you in danger
What’s her situation, i.e., single, kids? Does she know about you?
Stay with him. You’re obviously choosing to ignore the fact your whole ass husband is cheating on you. Do want validation?
You don’t go hiking with a private yoga instructor lmaoooo the lengths!
Or you can book a one on one with the yoga teacher and have a chat to get to the truth. Does she even know your husband’s married?
This really sucks but it sounds like your husband has a girlfriend. I’m sorry.
Lying about private yoga sessions with an attractive instructor who’s bought your artwork, going on hikes together… dude’s gotta come clean or ship out. You’re right to set a deadline, if he’s not being 100% transparent by then, tell him it’s over and mean it. I did something similar with my own trust issues years ago, we had an honest heart-to-heart, I laid down the law, and slowly but surely rebuilt our relationship on rock-solid ground.
He’s cheating, why would he buy her gifts and lie to you about being together alone.
Lying is already cheating
You just described dates.