Throwaway account- My (30F) bf (30M) and I have been together for close to 3 years now. He’s great. Truly a kind man, there is no abuse in our relationship, we’re best friends. We can open up to each other about anything and that’s sort of why I’m here. He’s incredibly depressed, really self deprecating and has become really comfortable venting to me constantly. I’m getting drained from it. He is so much fun to be around but there are some days when we’re not together where he’s so self loathing it’s deeply concerning. He makes suicidal threats (just that he wants to end his life because he’s so depressed, not that he will do it if I leave him or anything), tells me I can find a better guy than him, and says he hates himself. He assures me he loves me and it’s not my fault he feels this way and apparently he’s always been like this. Some days are great and he tries to feel better and others are really bad where I feel like nothing I say can fix it.
I know what I would tell a friend to do, but in my own shoes I see the nuance and I really do love him. He is kind, I want to help him and I really want him in my life. If we could just get past this hurdle I know we could have a beautiful life together. We live in the US and insurance has been a hang up but he is willing to get therapy, he just can’t afford it. We’re not married and don’t live together so it’s not like I can add him to my insurance.
TLDR: my boyfriend is severely depressed and goes between believing in himself that he can get better and being super low and suicidal, it’s draining me but I really am in love with him and he is with me, is there anything I can do to help him?