(trigger warning- reproductive abuse) Long story but I met this man on a “vanilla” site but have since found out not only is he on FB dating, Hinge, Tinder, but FetLife, Seeking. I’ve also found other women he dated that were as young as 17, some he started long term relationships with, some he solicited for sex work all with the intention of impregnating them, all simultaneously juggling these connections. He is reproductive abuser and will try every avenue to impregnate. Manipulation, lies of a future family, saying IUDs hurt him/cause cancer, allergic to condoms, removing condoms during sex, sex while a woman is asleep, orgasming without acknowledging and then seemingly “pulling out” later, and even telling some women that he was sterile.
I got connected to the other moms through social media and private groups just sharing our stories, like this post. Over 20 other women have confirmed he talked about or tried to get them pregnant while they dated. Each of the women believed he was not a father and did not know of any children nor of any other woman. Some of these women he dated long term, lived with him, met family and friends. 10 of these women got pregnant, of them 6 birthed his child, the oldest child being almost 15.
Contacting his family does nothing, they ignore or block. He has never met any of children nor has any of his family. He has made threats to the me/us if we speak about him, he would say that he’d call the police if anyone contacts his family/friends, that he had lawyers on a $50k retainer. (He has actually made good on one of those threats and has filed to sue some of the mothers for speaking about him and for reaching out to his family, their child’s paternal family)
So this is the craziest part but he keeps trying to use a falsified DNA sample, I know its falsified for lots of reason that I won’t get into but yes, its 100% true that he does this. He has seemingly endless money for lawyers and Im tired of dealing with them in court.
I want to give up and forget he ever crossed paths with me but another part of me wants justice for my child and all the other children/moms. I think that means him being investigated and charged with fraud or something, so that all the people in his life understand that he is lying about who he is and not these women/children (seriously how could a child lie when they match his entire family on ancestry and their half siblings, not to mention they copy and pasted his face). This isn’t just coincidence, he is lying about his father status and continues to prey on vulnerable women making them believe he is of moral standing.
TLDR: my bf got me pregnant, disappeared, is trying to falsify his dna, and I don’t know what to do
Comments
I think this is way above reddit, OP.
Like I assume you have been legally and financially advised on the viability of your options here? I’m sorry for what you and these other women have gone through, but what you should do is what is best for you and the sake of your child.
I wouldn’t give up. The nerve of him threatening to sue when he is the one who should be arrested for never paying a dime of child support on all 6 kids. I would especially keep an eye on him so you can warn any woman he starts dating. It’s not your responsibility, but I’m sure you would have appreciated a message like that. He going to keep bringing innocent babies into this world and then abandon them over and over.
None of the moms are wealthy? Because we all know money talks, and I definitely think your case is only as good as your lawyer. I think getting a really good cut-throat lawyer is the only way you can fight this. Maybe try reaching out to women lawyers. A woman would fight harder for this case. Ugh, what an awful man. I’m so sorry you and all the mothers and the poor children got stuck in his disgusting game.