My (30M) gf (28F) said she’s okay with me having sex with other people.

Tl;dr: GF isn’t attracted to my personality but loves me so much that she’s willing to overlook things and accepts me. The lack of attraction has led us to sex once or twice a month. And now she’s telling me if I need more, I can sleep with other women. And I don’t want to. But I’m struggling with how much we do. Is this a normal healthy relationship? Are we compatible? What can I do to find some better compromise?

Been together with my gf for 2.5 years and we’re in this weird spot. So we live in the US; I was born here and she’s a citizen but born elsewhere. Back home, she’s a billionaire (in USD). She wants to go home and leave this country. She tried working for someone, proved she can do really well, and if she stuck to the job, she’d be a director. She’s traveled over 70 countries, speaks 7 languages, she’s a genius, and has connections all over the place.

Unfortunately, I guess I’m more limited. I’ve only lived here. I make very good money, but I have a mortgage and finishing paying my student loans. I’m definitely blessed by all means. But I only speak English well. I don’t know a lot, and I’m pretty uncultured in her eyes. And more damning, I’m not super intellectually curious. In conversations, I ask questions but things remain surface level. I don’t actively seek out new information. And I’m pretty poor in my manner of speaking where I’m eloquent but robotic (like I lack the ability to frame a story well).

There’s a lot more context but the main gists here though is that she left her job and stayed here in the US to go to school so that we could be together while I worked on building skills that will allow me to work remotely. There’s fewer opportunities for me to work in her country so unless I want to start my own business (which I’d prefer to just be an employee), I need to find a remote job. So I got special permission from my job, which is mid managerial and mostly field based, to move to a different city where I pay the rent (and my mortgage), the bills, food, and drive her to school. To her these are the bare minimum things to demonstrate that when she didn’t have any money coming in, I was there to help her because when we move, she’s expecting she’ll have to take care of 95% of things for the life we wants. Like my income will never matter when there. It’s just so I can have something for myself I guess.

And this is where we got to the conversation today. We’re talking about marriage. So there’s long term stuff, but we’ve had a lot of ups and downs. And shes just sorta accepted my detriments and loves me anyways, but she’s disappointed with the person I am. She doesn’t think im solution oriented, I dont think about what people really need, I have low self worth, I don’t try to learn new things, I hate failure and feeling dumb, and I dont know what I want in life.

All this is a topic unto itself. But the thing is that we don’t have a lot of sex. She says it’s not a me thing. She’s a bit asexual. And she doesnt enjoy it. And I’ve asked her for anything we can try to make it more enjoyable but she’s said there nothing I can try or buy. She still does it once or twice a month but that’s just because she knows I can’t do never. But she also says that the problem is she’s unattracted to me. She doesn’t think we’re equals: financially, intellectually, creatively, or socially. She thinks she’s better than me and when we move, I’ll just be doing whatever it is I’m doing and she’s just hoping I’ll be happy. She feels like I’m not manly. Like I tried to pay someone to change her car battery rather than doing it myself. Or she wishes I’d try a new hobby and not feel bad when I’m bad at it. She wishes I’d act more like a leader at my job. Or handled criticisms better (she’s really fucking mean), because a secure person wouldn’t be so offended by words. And I don’t work out that much. I’m 5’8 and have an average American build, very slight stomach but what most people would call healthy. I’m not fat. But she’s Asian so she thinks it’s fat. She thinks I’ve got a good face but I don’t take care of myself enough, so I’m not hot. And all these things make her turned off about me and she can’t fake wanting to have sex more than the once or twice a month we end up doing it.

And so today, she asked if that was okay as we discussed several other things. And I legitimately wasn’t sure if it was. So she told me that she loves me and knows that men need it sometimes. And if I’m not going to change, that’s okay. She accepts me for who I am. But if it’s not enough, she’s okay if I sleep with other women. She’s no interest in sleeping with other men.

So is this like a test? Is this normal? Is this a healthy relationship or does she not really care about me that much if she allows me to sleep with other people? Am I the problem? I guess I’m just so confused on what to think. I don’t want to sleep with other women. She’s beautiful and my everything. But I have a high sex drive and I’m really struggling a lot to feel close physical intimacy even though she hugs me a lot, kisses me a lot, holds my hand, and grabs onto me when she’s not really much of a physical touch person. Am I overemphasizing how important sex is?