Hi,.
I’ve been with my partner for 2 and a half years, never a bad word said between us, have been looking to buy a house together, and have been vocal about wanting a family together. Really, things were great.
A few months ago my partner found she was pregnant. We spoke about it at length, and decided an abortion would be the best choice for us currently. Things continued on a strong, loving path and from then, I feel I was very supportive and caring towards her, did anything she needed from me.
I travel abroad for work & can be away for a few weeks at a time. We’ve been waiting to buy our house before I leave this full time job and go sub-contract – mortgage reasons. I was home from December (the month of the abortion) to March. From March, I was away for 3 weeks in Australia and China, so having meaningful conversation with my partner back in the UK was difficult.
I’ve come back and my partner has been off and said she’s having doubts about the relationship. After discussing more, she’s been feeling like this directly since the abortion. She doesn’t know what’s not right, says she knows how amazing we are together, and means everything she said about wanting to live together, start a family, get married. But she has been almost depressed since the abortion, and wants to listen to her gut feeling and move on.
I feel like there are so many other options to try before jumping straight to cutting off the relationship. I’ve suggested talking to a professional about post-abortion depression about it and that we could do it together if she wanted, as this could be a whole bag of complicated feelings about the abortion, and with her hormones being so under stress, she could maybe wait and get some help first, and then if that doesn’t change, then make the final decision. But not to make that decision whilst she’s going through the problems.
Unfortunately she just doesn’t want to entertain the idea of talking someone whilst still being in the relationship. She wants to walk away from it all and I just feel so confused and lost.
TL;DR – Partner has a feeling of something not being right with the relationship since an abortion but doesn’t know what. Admits she’s depressed because of the abortion. Doesn’t want to seek help and wants to leave.