Going to try reaching out to the Reddit community again because you all helped me so much with my last question. Basically you helped me realize I need to run from my narcissistic, controlling bf. Since he’s isolated me so much, I’ve had to take some time to actually plan it, where I’ll go, how to leave without harm, etc. which I’m in the middle of and have a plan.
But something came up that I need some clarification for. Basically over the last 3 years I have never looked at his phone, ever. For some reason I just trusted him. He’s a pretty sexual guy, we have sex a lot there’s a lot of sexual chemistry. But he’s pretty sneaky with his phone. Always has it on him, I don’t really ask to use it but the occasional time he’s just looked something up for me. Never thought anything of if.
I knew maybe he looked at porn. At his cousins engagement party he wanted to show a group of us something on instagram and in his feed was a bunch of naked ladies, boobs, sexual stuff. I told him that kinda hurt cuz seeing that all because it means he’s looking it up, that’s how the algorithm works (I work in digital marketing social media, so I know). He denied it but honestly I didn’t want to start a fight at his family event so I just pretended I didn’t care. I mean I kind of didn’t because I think I was already checked out.
Last week he accidentally pulled up his Reddit beside me and it was on porn. I pretended like I didn’t see anything but I was curious. So (please don’t shame me I had to know) while he was in the shower I had a quick second to pull up his Reddit. He followed a ton of sexual groups, his searches were all porn and girls. I put the phone away. But I kept thinking, he sends me nudes all the time and he said he caught his ex sending nudes to people, so I thought i wonder if he’s posting nudes Reddit or something similar. I had to know. So this morning while I had a quick second I looked at his Reddit and he’s been permanently banned. It says ‘your account has been permanently banned check your inbox’ I go to the inbox nothing there’s, everything is gone. Can’t open anything. His searches are all of different porn and girls then last week, including one of a 19year old girl.
What does this mean? From what I read, you can’t get permanently banned for just looking up porn, it means he’s been engaging whether it be with a minor, he’s been sending inappropriate messages or comments, he’s been searching to much?
This was the kind of the grande finale of things I don’t want my life/relationship to look like. Time to take back over my life, and find my spark again.
I basically want to know what this means so when I leave, I know exactly what I’m saying
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>so when I leave, I know exactly what I’m saying
Don’t say shit when you leave. If it’s come down to having a safety plan to get out of this relationship, don’t bother with some grand confrontation or speech to him, it’s wasted energy and won’t do anything for anyone.
Just run.
Dont say anything specific. Don’t give him the chance to gaslight you. You just say youre not interested in being with a porn addict anymore and peace out.
It doesn’t matter what it means.
You want out, so get out.
You don’t have to make a case for it, or tell him any reasons.
Run, he has a porn addiction and overstepped their rules.
Just get on the bus, Gus. No need to discuss much
Side note: If you’re seeing someone and you don’t have permission to see what’s in their phone? I’m sure there’s someone out there that has a legitimate reason but I gave my girlfriend, who is now my wife, the password to my phone the second week we dated and told her if she saw anything on there she didn’t like delete it. I had her, I didn’t need anything from my past anymore.
Oh hell yeah jork it 😎
Just leave, preferably when he’s not around. There’s nothing you will say to him that will matter to him, and he might get violent or manipulative. He’s not going to tell you the truth about anything, either. The only truth you need to know it’s he’s been abusing you
“Have fun chatting with teens on reddit… oh wait, you can’t anymore. Have the life you deserve.” Then go far far away.
Don’t worry about what it means. Get out of the relationship.
Who cares? You say nothing and run.
Can be permanently banned for other reasons. For typing the n word. For saying the re***d word.