So me and my sister are now on the outs because she does not approve me going to college.
Long story short recently I lost my job abroad and had to come back to my hometown and stay with my parents. After careful consideration my parents offered me to pay for my education and go obtain a degree in nursing. It would take three and a half years in my country and in total it would cost around 10 517,5
The issue is, my older sister thinks that it is selfish and manipulative of me to go to college if my parents are paying, so we had a big fight about that and I don’t know what to do.
Important to know my sister wanted to go to a police academy and on medical check up for that she found out she’s pregnant. So she never came back after that
Can it be that she’s just jealous that I am following my dream after all?
Would it be selfish if I would go after all?
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Yes she is just jealous.
You would be a moron to let your jealous sisters opinion shape you and your potential future. She should be happy for you, not trying to keep you down and without a degree that could give you a good career and income.
I do think it would be selfish if your parents are struggling when it comes to money. However, they are also adults and allowed to spend their money however they want and if they aren’t in a bad financial position and genuinely offered, then I don’t see anything wrong with taking that offer. Of course if your parents are suffering from any mental impairment, are close to losing their home because of debt or anything along those lines, I’d side more with your sister.
It sounds like she doesn’t have a problem with you going to college, she has a problem with your parents paying. While it is a huge gift, it’s also fairly normal for parents to do so. Accepting it is not selfish or manipulative on its own but without further context it’s hard to say if your sister is right in feeling it is unjust. For example, she might feel it is unfair if she never received similar help.
But in the end your parents are allowed to use their own money as they wish and you are allowed to accept (ofc assuming no coercion or actual manipulation is involved and they can afford it).
No, it wouldn’t be selfish. She is not your parent, so she has no say in this situation. Maybe she is jealous, but that is not your responsibility. Go to college and pursue what you want in life.
She has no say in your decisions especially if your parents support you. I smell insane jealousy.
Your sister is projecting. She didn’t get the life she wanted, so she thinks ‘why should you’ and instead of being supportive she is letting her jealousy guide her words and actions.
It’s not selfish to want a better future for yourself. It’s not entitled to take help when it is offered. It’s smart to take advantage of a good opportunity when it arises.
If your parents chose not to help your sister in the same way, it may be an unfair situation, but that is between her and your parents, not you. The only way you could be at fault is if you actively manipulated your parents to help you over her. Otherwise, you are not at fault here.
Sister is jealous AF and she needs to butt out. What a biatch.
Do what’s right for you and don’t let her spiteful attitude sabotage your future career prospects!
Don’t concern yourself with what she thinks of the situation, it’s your life. If your parents offered to help and you’re not putting them into a bad situation by accepting it, that’s between you and them.
If they are able to help, accept it and do right by them. Knock school out, get a good job, and make sure to do well for them as the years go on. Your life should be better for having access to education and if you’re generous like them, so should your parents’.
Jealously is a large beast
Do your thing. It’s your life. It’s not being selfish.
College will improve your life by giving you opportunities that you won’t get otherwise. A good education goes a long way.
Don’t spend a lifetime thinking about “what if”. Regret can be a heavy burden.