My boyfriend (34M) and I (33F) have been together for over two years. We lived together for over a year now.
His 2 friends (30M and 34M) and him started a weekly hang out after work. They come over once a week to our house and they just chill together.
The problem with this is, whenever this happens I usually get asked by my bf to leave the room, either beforehand (“babe, came you go upstairs when they come over?”) or during (“do you wanna move yourself upstairs?”).
At first I tried making an effort to get to know them, but after 5-10 mins of what it feels like trying to insert myself somehow into their conversation, I get completely ignored, they don’t even look at me or acknowledge me talking about subjects that I can’t contribute towards. They never ask me about me, how’s my life, how’s work etc.
Now, I understand he wants time with his buddies, I have nothing against that. But I genuinely feel like I have two strangers coming over to my house every week and I get asked to leave or made completely uncomfortable in the place (my home) that I should feel comfortable in.
My boyfriend also plays video games online with them and three other guys every Saturday night. And every other Friday one of his friends stays overnight and I also either get asked to leave the space or get completely ignored.
The problem is my boyfriend can commit to plans with other people on weekly basis (wednesday his friends come over, every other Friday his friend stays overnight and Saturday nights are for playing video games with his mates, he also has regular plans with other people), but not with me.
I feel like he just fits me in whenever possible or whenever he has some free time. I told him a few times I’d love to have a “date” with him every week, just one night just for two of us, so we can do something together (even if it’s playing video games every week for a few hours).
On the weekends he usually gets up late (around midday) and by the time we have all the chores done and everything it’s late afternoon and by then it’s usually football time (he watches his fav team) or he plays games with his friends. There is no dedicated time for me.
I feel left out, like an afterthought. I told him that and that he literally has regular plans with everyone else but me and we can’t even do anything on the weekends because he sleeps until midday and he’s busy with his friends anyway. I mean, Saturday is the best night of the week and I don’t get to spend any of them with him.
He doesn’t seem to budge on the dates with his friends. He cancelled Saturday night for me a few times, but just because I asked. I’m tired of feeling like this.
He says he doesn’t see it that way, he thinks he spends all of his time with me and the rest with everyone else. But what sort of time is it? It’s never anything exciting, it’s just us watching tv or sitting on or phones.
And he doesn’t see a problem in any of this.
Am I right for getting upset about this?