My boyfriend and his ex have been broken up for about 6 years now. We have been together for 3. The room we stay in at his parents’ house has multiple framed pictures of he and his ex or their family with her on the wall. Some of them are college graduation pictures which I sort of understand but it feels uncomfortable overall. She cheated on him and it ended very dramatically. It bothers me but we have never talked about it because I’m not sure if it’s worth bringing up. Would you bring it up to your partner if it upset you? Would you ignore it as a memory from the past? Is it odd that it bothers me or is it actually as weird as it seems? Just not sure if I’m being overly sensitive and I don’t know whether to point it out or not. Any advice or perspectives are welcome.
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Yes, you are being overly sensitive and insecure , honestly I would break up with someone like you
It’s weird and inappropriate, aside from pictures if she was within the whole family unit which I guess I understand, on the part of the parents.
Either they are just oblivious to it or they are weird. Tell you boyfriend to ask them to remove the pics. Or just take them down. The probably won’t care. If they do, you got bigger problems.
Does it bother your boyfriend? That seems very insensitive to him by his parents. Do they know she cheated on him and hurt him?
I find it odd that your boyfriend is ok with his parents having pictures of his cheating ex around the house. There’s nothing wrong with discussing it with him.
I would feel uncomfortable with this, and I am a bit surprised that your boyfriend doesn’t also feel uncomfortable as well? I would not be into bringing my current partner to stay in a room with a bunch of pics of my college bf
Your boyfriend probably doesn’t like it either but it’s their house. Neither you nor your boyfriend get a vote about whose pictures they hang on their walls. It’s not like your in competition with the pictures, right?
I visit my ex BF’s parents from HS/college. They have pics of us at prom and graduation and college graduation up in the house. It’s part of his history.
There are pics in my home of my partner, his ex wife, and their child. That’s part of their history.
I don’t really see the big deal.
Were their any children from their marriage? If Yes, and they sometimes visit their grandparents, that might be why they aren’t being removed.
I would just take them out and put it in a drawer. And then tell him I did us favor, but next time, its on him to step up. If he has a problem then he’s not the one.
How does it feel to know you are with someone with no spine? Gives you a clue how well he will defend you should the need arise. People like red flags slapping them in the face around here.
Why don’t you make sure to send the inlaws updated pictures of you guys, including them on what’s current. This will be a sweet gesture and gentle reminder to update the frames without being accusatory or rude or stepping on a boundary. They may not have even thought about it!
You may want to talk to your BF about it and let him know that you feel very much like you’re not accepted by his parents now that you’ve been together for 3 yrs. Tell him it is very uncomfortable for you to see those photos. See what he says. Perhaps he can talk sense to his parents. But frankly, if it were me, this is a deal-breaker. If the parents don’t accept you now after 3 yrs, do you want to invest further in this relationship and marry? Not a very good sign for a happy marriage, in my honest opinion.
His parents may or may not be weird, but honestly I find it much stranger that you feel like you can’t talk to him about this, you guys have been together for 3 years! What’s the point if you can’t have real conversations?
Is the cheating on him part true? Or did he make that up?
I’m dating a man whose ex was really close with his family. Super close. Probably more than my bf and her were. There’s not one (visible) picture of her in their house. Emphasis on visible. I’m sure they’re somewhere.
Ask to have them taken down. This happened to me mom kept old photos not because of the ex but because of the photos. Just asked to take them down. Same at my grandma’s house too same story grandmother doesn’t even remember their names it’s just about the photos
Mom and grandma took the photos down no biggie. Don’t overthink it. As a guy that was in your SO place
Uncomfy meaning what? Are you jealous? threatened? Etc.
Talking to your boyfriend rather than here makes a ton of sense.
You could discuss it with him but it is not his house so there is a limit on what he can actually do