Me and my girlfriend have been dating about 3 years now, and honestly almost everything is great. We enjoy being around each other, have great conversations and every experience is an adventure.
The elephant in the room is sex. I have a very high sex drive and came from a previous relationship where we had sex every night, sometimes multiple times a day.
But in my current relationship, it happens maybe once a month. I try to give hints or be romantic, but it just falls flat, and usually means being rejected every night and she seems annoyed. When we do have sex it seems like it has to be planned and it kind of kills the magic.
She is on SSRIs and they have really helped her a lot with anxiety. She used to have frequent meltdowns. She still feels a lot of anxiety about sex though and worries about pregnancy even with a condom and being on birth control.
I feel bad to even bring it up, but I am planning to propose soon and am scared to be locked into a sexless marriage.
TL;DR: an otherwise solid relationship, is inhibited by uneven sex drives and SSRI reduced libido and I am unsure how to approach the topic.
Comments
Has your current gf given any indication she wants sex at the frequency you do? Because I’m not seeing it.
It is normal for people to have different amounts of libido. The challenge is when very different people try to date one another.
She may be happy with once a month. Have you asked? Before you propose have a serious conversation. How often do you think you want to have sex? How about her? If you don’t match is that a dealbreaker?
Your libido is very high. There’s a woman out there who might match it but I don’t think it’s your current gf, ssris or no. Decide what that means for you and don’t drag out a relationship if it doesn’t work, hoping it will change. You have to judge a relationship by what it is and not what you want it to be.
You ARE currently in a sexless relationship…. thus you will be in a sexless marriage. Marriage will not correct this. Don’t propose. Divorce is too expensive.
I mean. Me myself was with a girl with little sex drive and i was deprived, it does get miserable with having a high sex drive
Honestly you have 2 choices, make a compromise that can completely destroy you and the relationship or choose to leave
Your not bad for wanting sex to be an essential in your relationship but dont egg it on if its a problem with you
You should look into sex aversion. She may be dealing with that.
“I feel bad to even bring it up, but I am planning to propose soon and am scared to be locked into a sexless marriage.”
Wait what? Also OP, go read thru r/DeadBedrooms sometime.
Do NOT get married youre sexually incompatible and this only gets worse with kids and marriage.