So my girlfriend is sad that I only now opened up about my past with my family to her. She tells me everything about her, and I essentially do the same even the smallest things but my past with my family isn’t something I really like to talk about (Mom is a drunk, my dad is an abusive asshole, other parts of my family are racists and so many more things) and also I had this insecurity that she wouldn’t like me anymore if she knows. She appreciates I told her now but also she feels sad and also scared that there is more that I’m hiding about it, which I don’t. I feel really anxious and bad about it now. Any advice what I can do to make it better? š
TL;DR : My girlfriend is sad I only opened up now about my family past to her. I don’t know what to do to make it better
Comments
You didn’t do anything wrong, and you can help her with her feelings.
So it took you awhile to be comfortable enough to talk about it. But you made that effort to share.
You don’t need to do anything. Just continue on with your life.
Thereās really nothing to make better. You canāt make her not sad. But I also donāt think she should have been sad about this in the first place.
Most likely she is saying sheās sad, but could it be she feels you didnāt trust her enough to tell.
So explain to her that it has nothing to do with you not trusting, and I suspect, it has more to do with you not wanting to have to delve up the bad memories.
If for instance you donāt speak to your mom or dad, or have a very low level of contact, she knows thereās issues there, just from that alone. you must have said something that clued her in to why without a whole sordid story.
Things from our past come up organically as we stay with our partners. We donāt tell our lifeās history all in one go, it trickles out. They come out from off hand remarks or objects that trigger memories.
Itās only been a year, Iām sure thereās still lots more you each can and will learn about each otherās earlier lives.