I have been in a relationship for over 10 years and been engaged for over 2. Things have been fairly good. We don’t fight really and enjoy a lot of similar things. The main problem we have is our intimacy which we have talked about but now things have gotten much harder.
This year I asked what are the things she wanted to work on so we can feel prepared for marriage so we ended up setting up some time to talk about things.
One of the talks she had brought up she wanted to have an open relationship. She assured me that there wasn’t anything I was doing wrong but that she wanted to explore with women and know what a relationship with one would be like. A few days later I told her I couldn’t do it. She got upset and said she was unsure on if she could be together without having one.
We talked about it again and she thought our relationship wasn’t strong enough to have it open and she changed her mind. She further said that she was no longer in love with me and doesn’t feel any romance between us. I asked her several questions about this on how we can work on this together and if she thinks she did want to work on it. We talked about things we could work on to fix this, be move communicative, have more dates, and both go to therapy.
A month or two later we talked again and I ask her how she thinks things are going. She said that they were better and she sees improvement but she’s still discovering what she wants. She said she’s still not happy.
I’m starting to think there’s nothing I can do to fix this. I can’t change her feelings and I try my hardest to make her life as easy as possible. I take care of a majority of the chores, bills, etc, try to plan dates, initiate
our intimacy and getting us to talk about things but it still doesn’t seem enough.
TLDR: Fiancé said she isn’t in love with me, doesn’t know what she wants, and isn’t happy.
What can I do to save our relationship and have her fall back in love with me?
Comments
Ask her about her relationship with the guy she wanted to open your relationship for.