I (52M) shared with a woman (52F) I’ve been dating seriously for a year now, a movie that I prefaced was one I’d been waiting a year to share with her, “Resurrrection (1980)” it was open to friends, so a few people were with us, and she and someone else talked through the entire movie, and then asked simple questions proving they were not paying attention, and since I was quite, taking it in, this beautiful and meaningful movie, she thought I was falling asleep, when i was actually immersed in the film.
At the end, trhey had nothing to say about the film, one said, “It’s okay”, and it was clear that her attention was all over the place and not with me at all, but she says she loves me and wants me to be serious about her, which I continually say I am, and want her to move in with me, I couldn’t be more serious, but she always has some excuse, and this just sends a lot of mixed signals… I don’t know where to go from here, except keep looking for something more real, and someone who actually connects with me beyond the theoretical.
It’s like she’s always diving deep into me to demand I want her, but then she never shows me that she wants me. I feel like I’m always coming up with ways for us to get closer, but then her attention is never there.
Ironically, she talks of her strong Christian faith and believing in miracles, but then mocks the miracles portrayed in the film, instead of watching the movie with an open heart and mind, which really surfprised me.
I dunno…
TLDR: I keep trying, she asks me to initiate, but when I do, it seems her attention is never there and our time isn’t meaningful, but I share meaningful things with her, she just seems easily distracted.
Comments
Kinda sounds like you guys have different interests and she’s not giving any support/effort to the things you like
These are two very different issues.
Just because she doesn’t care about the same movies as you doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about you. You planned a movie night with friends, it was a social atmosphere, and she socialized.
However, her saying she wants you to take her and the relationship seriously, only to then turn down your offer of living together is a very mixed message. If she doesn’t want to take the relationship to the next level, what exactly is she asking for?
You two don’t seem particularly well matched from what you’ve shared in your post – if she doesn’t want to move forward in a meaningful way, yet continues to put the blame for it on you then I don’t really see the point of sticking around.