TL;DR: My bf (23M) and I (23M) don’t have sex. It first started out with doing everything but penetration, but as the last couple of months have gone on, we just don’t really do anything. I feel unsatisfied and even though we have talked about the issue, nothing has actually changed. At what point do you call it quits?
We started dating in August, went exclusive November. We’ve had penetrative sex maybe 5 times, only twice successfully.
We are both conventionally attractive and have colorful personalities, im a little more outgoing than him and he’s a little more mellow, but like we are always doing something fun (baking, cooking, hanging out with friends, playing some game, drinking/dancing, did ceramics class at one point). He’s easy to get along with and is an active part of the relationship, balances out my general negative outlook on life too. Lots of cuddling and kissing, spend usually half the week together at least.
But we don’t have much sex, at all. Like we’ve done maybe 1 thing in the last 3 weeks. At first it was because its painful for him to bottom, and I am not the biggest fan of only doing like the foreplay stuff. We broke up over it and got back together the next day a month ago. We had sex once like the day after but nothing has changed since. He says he wants to, but honestly I don’t really see it. I feel like he’s a side (not a top nor bottom).
And im here like satisfied with everything but the physical. And I found myself wanting someone else last weekend when we were at a bar and I felt shit about that because my bf is so sweet, so I asked to go home and we just went to bed. I feel like at first it was also him not initiating much but recently I’ve also kinda given up on trying and imagining life where we have broken up.
But then we hang out again and I have so much fun. It’s not clear what to do. We’ve talked about it seriously 2 or 3 times. At what point do you stop talking and cut your losses? I have friends that say it’s time, others that say I should wait because we’re so compatible in every other way and maybe our libidos just don’t align.
Edit: someone just asked if we have tried vaginal sex and lowkey I don’t know if that was passively homophobic but it was hilarious
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Have u tried vaginal sex? Not sure why u force anal
A long-term relationship is, at times, a labyrinth of pleasure and pain. To deepen the connection without penetration, delve into erotic fantasies, tender kisses that linger, and cuddling that feels like home. What wicked or icky fantasies have you two shared and acted out in the past?
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