So, just for some background, my boyfriend and I have been together for about 1 year and 9 months.. He lives in his dad’s house in his childhood bedroom and I live with my parents in my childhood bedroom.. He’s employed full time and I’m a student (so, unemployed). My boyfriend’s friend has a girlfriend who lives in her parent’s basement, and has the whole basement basically to herself, and so he sleeps at her house most days, along with him buying groceries and food for her family, I guess basically as a courtesy for letting him sleep there and live there most days; he also works full time. His girlfriend is tasked by her parents to prepare dinner for the family mostly every night, so she does this and sets aside food for her boyfriend and basically just leaves food aside for him to eat at work the next day for lunch. Again, he is the one buying the groceries, for her entire family and himself.
So, to get to my point, my boyfriend uses the fact that his friend’s girlfriend cooks for him against me, because I “don’t meal prep for him”. Meanwhile, I live at home and if I cook anything, it’s not just me who’s going to be eating it, my family lives there and is going to want some, and will quite literally yell at me and hold a grudge against me for days if I don’t give them any. It’s kind of a long story but he has this aversion to coming over my house most times due to a thing that occurred where he crashed out at me around a year ago, causing tension between him and my fam, so he doesn’t want to be at my house (unless i’m home alone), much less purchase the food that my family will be eating, as his friend does for his girlfriend’s family. I told him, once you move out and I can have a kitchen to cook in where I’m alone and am not forced to feed other people who let me live in their house, then I’ll make you food. But, that’s not the case. If you want me to be the exact same as your friend’s girlfriend and set aside food for you, then you’d need to maintain the exact same conditions that your friend provides for her, by buying the groceries that’ll be used to feed her family… lol… And I feel it would be even more crazy if I were expected to buy groceries to cook for him, with me being an unemployed student and him making 70k/year… I don’t even buy my own food, I just eat whatever my mom makes.
He constantly pesters me about this and how it’s not “wife material” that I don’t cook for him. Meanwhile the times I actually did make him a really nice meal when nobody was home at my house, he acted nice about it in the moment, but the next time he got mad he brought it up and said “yeah and then you go and make me some random ass dish i’ve never mentioned in my life rather than something i actually like.” So you can guess that hearing that isn’t exactly motivating me to want to make you food.
I will add that he actually does cook at his house a lot and feed me, but he absolutely refuses to let me cook at his house because “that’s weird” and “it doesn’t count because you’re supposed to cook for me when i’m gone because then i’m just gonna be sitting there doing nothing and waiting”. Also, there’s never a time where his cooking doesn’t come with complaints. “I shouldn’t have to cook after working 8 hours you should be cooking for me you do nothing all day anyway”
Again, I would be cooking for him if I had a private place where I were allowed to cook for myself to do so, and the food/groceries paid for by him required to do so. We do not have the same situation that his friend and his gf have, though if we did and he were paying for the groceries, I’d be glad to do it. Especially if he were nicer to me for it.
But my question really is, is his comparison of me vs his friend’s gf warranted??? Am I a bad girlfriend for this???
edit after writing all this: sorry if all of this is kinda jumbled around, there’s a lot more background to this so some things may be out of context but ugh
TLDR; My boyfriend gets mad that I don’t meal prep for him like his friend’s girlfriend does
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There are a lot of red flags here. He doesn’t sound like husband material, your family doesn’t like him because he couldn’t even act right in front of them, and he expects you to cook for him without even providing the groceries? This kid sounds like a loser who expects a subservience. You do not want to be wife material for this guy, trust me.
lol what an AH he is
You need to make better choices.
Sounds immature. He wants someone to baby him. Holding a grudge against your family for an issue he caused a year ago is insane.
So the question is why doesn’t he meal prep for you?
Dump that labour digger
Why are you still with him? Run for the hills, girlie, you deserve better.
Wait, so he makes 70k a year and can’t get his own place? He sounds entitled and like a tightwad. What does he do with his money?
He wants the wifey treatment from a girlfriend GTFO with that mess! You’re not even living together and he’s berating you about cooking for him and then shits on it when you do!
It’s horrible that he’s comparing you to anyone for any reason. On top of that he isn’t even willing to measure up like his friend has. Girl you’re in Red Flag City.
Girl go read your own post. And take whatever advice you’d give that girl. Even if he does get his own place it is not your obligation to cook and meal prep for him. Don’t accept men like this
Stop wasting your life on someone eho isnt husband material and doesn’t want to be. You get one life. Is this butthead the one you want to live it with?
Any guy who throws out the phrase “wife material” is a guy to walk away from. (Especially when he himself is in no way “husband material.”)
Why do you want to continue with this guy?
Knee jerk reaction after reading your first 3 paragraphs: Your boyfriend doesn’t like you, he just wants a girlfriend… After finishing reading your post. Maybe he does like you. He certainly doesn’t treat you how anyone I know treats the people they like. Why do I feel like if you were able to cook for him like his friend’s gf he would complain about something else? Some people just aren’t satisfied unless they’re in complete misery with miserable people like themselves. I hope you don’t lose confidence or kindness or self-worth during this relationship. Edit: Like genuinely, not facetiously. I’m sure you’re kind, and generous, and thoughtful, don’t let your bf have you doubting your character.