My bf [26M] penetrated me [24F] in sleep???

Hi. For context – 24F 26M. From India if it is relevant. We have a great relationship. Completed 1 year together this month. Everything is great. We moved in together this month. Been around 2 weeks now. I need your suggestion/ advice/ help on the following incident. I’m entirely blank on what to do and not to do.

He’s a great guy and takes a lot of care of me through thick and thin. I had two surgeries during initial months of relationship, he was admitted at that time in hospital for dengue. Still he took a lot of care of me. There are several instances to show how much he cares for me and is serious about me. I don’t have any doubts on this or his loyalty for me. But what happened yesterday has completely shaken me.

For context, We haven’t had sex properly since months which hasn’t impacted the relationship. We’ve been moving locations constantly and surrounded by our friends mostly all the time (until we moved in together). So we both are currently sex deprived and have a high drive. Last week did it properly was in March end I think around my birthday

I was feverish yesterday so I slept at 1-1:30am. He was constantly asking me to eat and sleep because i am feverish and not getting proper sleep since 2 days and I had even gone to office yesterday which added to exhaustion. I was also planning to cook after coming home but he denied and said we’ll eat outside. There’s no need to exhaust yourself as you’re already sick. He mentioned i should just eat, take meds and sleep on time.

So he loves my boobs and usually sucks them before going to sleep everyday. Maybe will finger me here and there.
Last night I slept before he did. He was working. So at sometime during the night. I felt his penis behind me. At my butt. Now let me tell you this for context. I have a kink where i like stuff being done to me when I’m sleeping. I’ve told him this before. But i clearly mentioned I would like to be woken up from sleep by him sucking my boobs. Nothing more or less. He did it few days ago and i really enjoyed it after a long time.

I didn’t tell him or let him know I’m awake. First I felt his penis against my butt. He was just holding it. I heard moaning noises from his phone, so i understood he’s watching porn. Which is fine. I don’t have a problem with him watching it. I haven’t watched it in years and he does it rarely too ever since we got together. Also for context- I never stopped him from watching porn. And i rarely deny him intimacy.

So I was wearing a half pyjama. So he had already uncovered some part of it to touch his penis on my butt. Eventually he uncovered it entirely. He had placed his dick inside my butt. Rubbing it slightly maybe.

I didn’t act as if I’m awake or aware of what is happening. I kept making noises or taking turns to make it obvious that I’m sleeping. Eventually he stripped my pyajama and underwear completely and I was completely naked from waist down. After this. He kept rubbing for a while. For context purposes. I was sleeping on my side and he was behind me in same position. Then he started to spot where my vagina is. Once he found it he started fingering me. Slow to hard building pressure (in an attempt to wake me up I’m assuming). I didn’t wakeup. I wanted to see how far this goes. But still I continued making noises.

All this time porn was on. So after a while of fingering, he laid me flat on my stomach. Trying to insert his penis in me. Now we usually have issues in penetration because he’s very tall and I’m short and my body is not very flexible so we generally put a pillow under my stomach/ back depending on the position.

Hence he lifted me and put a pillow under my stomach. After that he inserted his dick and started pounding me. But not for long. Few mins. 2-3 at max. Very few strokes. Then he ejaculated on my butt. Wiped me properly. Covered me with blanket.

What hurted me was after he cleaned himself up, he went to the opposite end of the bed and was lying there using his phone. I felt so bad as if am I just his sex doll. He isn’t even touching me after he got done. Then after a while when he turned off his phone, came closer to me, he kept his one hand on my cheek and my one hand on his cheek and proceeded to sleep.
I kept pretending. Taking turns / making noises. I increased those noises after few minutes to see his reactions. I increased it but not too much to the point someone will get disturbed. Eventually he went to the opposite end of bed and slept.

And I felt so horrible that how can he be so horny that he can’t even think of the fact that I am sick. He could’ve waited till morning. We both are working from home we could’ve got intimate??? He can’t even control his lust when I’m unwell??? I never deny him intimacy unless I’m not in the mood to do anything entirely. He watched porn that’s totally fine to me. Everyone has lust and their way of exhausting it. Completely fine. I don’t care. And the fact that he needs porn to get off when I’m sleeping SICK beside him??? He still can’t control his lust?

But this behaviour??? I understand he is sex deprived since few months. Recently I often tell him that I’m not able to feel anything (when he tried to finger me or so something else) and he feels really bad about it. But this??? Even I am sex deprived???? I have a high drive too??? If i can control myself by not watching porn or forcing myself on him, why can’t he???

When i wokeup ab hour ago, he told me to wear clothes (we don’t have curtains currently and everything is visible from outside). I asked him what happened i don’t remember sleeping naked. He signalled that he will tell later and went back to sleep.

I’m planning to ask him what happened pretending to not know anything.
1. If he mentioned everything honestly, good, I’ll explain my pov to him
2. But if he lies/downplays things, I don’t know what to do from now onwards. We have recently moved in together i’ve spent so much money on this.

TLDR:- My bf penetrated me when I was sleeping (I was pretending and wanted to see how far this can go. Also i’ve mentioned to him that id like if things are done to me in sleep but I had specifically mentioned him boobs play). Now I’m disturbed.