Me 28F and my bf 28M have been together for almost 1 year now. We have a long distance relationship. Our relationship has always been good, sometimes we fight about stupid stuff but always make things right. I lived with him for 3 months before coming back to my country and he was always sweet and took really good care of me during this months.
Yesterday I told him I was going out with 3 other girls for some drinks (my best friend invited me) and since i rarely go out at night and it’s summer i accepted. We went to a bar that does cocktails and around 12 Am puts music if you want to dence ( not a club). I told my bf about the plan. Around 12:30 AM he FaceTimed me while I was there and i answered right away (I was missing him).
He told me that I was giving easy girl vibe for going out on a week day and that i looked like a sl*t ( I was wearing a long skirt and a crop top so the only skin visible was my lower stomach).
Today he isn’t answering to my texts and calls and is giving me the silence treatment. I don’t know what to do honestly because I don’t have much experience in relationships.
I have only been in 2 relationships in my life, one that lasted 8 years and now this one with him. I have no other experience with guys.
I feel so disrespected. What he said yesterday really hurt my feelings but at the same time I feel like he didn’t mean what he said and was just mad. He is very different when we are together and really cute and caring.
I need some advice on how to handle this from now on.
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
He is 100% cheating on you if he’s that worried. Not a doubt in my mind that he’s cheating.
Don’t tolerate that behavior, and DEFINITELY do not apologize to him. He was rude and disrespectful, not you. Stop trying to reach out to him, and make it clear you expect an apology.
Run!! Just run! Even if he is mad, he can’t call you s**t, the anger and abuse just gets worse, it doesn’t matter if he means it or not, plus looks like he is very very insecure for no reason
If your very best friend came to you and told you her boyfriend acted like yours, what would you tell her to do? You deserve to be treated better than that. Love yourself more, please. No one should speak to you that way, certainly not a boyfriend who supposedly cares about you.
You block and move on. Never accept a date or especially a bf calling you names. He would be incredibly controlling if you ever dated in the same city. I know he was nice the first time but he just revealed himself.
Leave him
You deserve better
That was very judgmental and so out of line. You’re his girlfriend and if it really made him upset he could’ve at least waited later communicated why he wasn’t okay with this activity. Also insulting you S/O is so disgusting.
How they treat you at their angriest shows their true level of respect for you. Someone who really respects you will tell you why they’re upset, what they’re feeling, etc without insulting you.
(20 years with my husband, 16 married. We’ve had more fights than I can count. We’ve fought about parenting, household tasks, not like the way the other one is acting, and we’ve never insulted each other.)
Love without respect is a recipe for unhappiness. I’m not saying you have to break up with him. But if you tell him that it’s not acceptable to treat you that way and it happens again, you know he doesn’t respect you.
Make him eat his words by doing sl*t stuff
Insecure men this, controlling that…
Who cares? He is an idiot because he is almost 30 and cant extrapolate how his words would affect you.
If you are willing to have a jealous partner, the least you can ask is for some intelligence.
Nope. An ex of mine was like this sweet & nice when were physically together but when we were apart he’d start arguments & call me every name under the sun & then would blame that we didn’t live together, I am so damn grateful my mom talked me out of moving in with him.
U feel disrespected because that’s exactly what happened he was disrespectful & now he’s giving silent treatment it’s emotional abuse. Don’t do anything honestly don’t blow up his phone leave him to his tantrum.
He did mean it. Being mad isn’t excuse. There was no reason for him to be mad in the first place. He doesn’t respect you, he doesn’t respect women. He will start to controlling what you will do and wear and spend time with.
This is controlling, manipulative, spiteful, and nasty. Tell him he won’t hurt you like that again and move on from him.
Wow that sounds insecure… he clearly has no trust
Perks of ldr. When the partner is an asshole you can always block and move on.
The fact he’s up that late just to call and check on you to calm you a s**t shows he’s insecure and doesn’t trust you. Calling you that word is a manipulation tactic so you’ll change your behavior and stop going out, so he won’t have to worry about you cheating on him. This is a big red flag. He shouldn’t be trying to control you from so far away
Now, what the hell did you expect in a long distance relationship? There’s always going to be jealousy, mistrust and resentment. That’s why long distance doesn’t work.
You dump him and tell him it’s because he doesn’t respect you. Block him.
Tell him there’s no “from now on” and it’s over. He’s unkind and overly suspicious, with all the red flags of an abusive relationship waiting to happen.
Then, enjoy your life. Buy yourself an outfit to wear when you go out with your friends, that you absolutely love. Go to some new places (including clubs that are open on weeknights) and have fun. Maybe learn something new that you’ve always wanted to learn.
You deserve someone special who respects you, as a boyfriend, and I’m sorry, this guy isn’t it. The right person may not come along tomorrow, but as long as you’re with this guy, he won’t.
He definitely did mean what he said to you. Don’t try and make excuses for him now. This is how he will treat you in the future if you do anything that he doesn’t want you to do. He will get more and more controlling over time. He let the mask slip and showed you who he really is – believe him!
Calling you that because HE is insecure is not okay. He’s giving you the silent treatment so that you’ll be the one to apologize for his bad behavior.
Do not tolerate this please! If y’all are long distance too please just leave him. You do not deserve someone treating you that way. That’s a man child.
Every relationship has ups and downs but I’m a firm believer that insults should be a like in the sand.
Stop trying to reach out to him
Not tolerate childish behavior and break up with him
Break up!
r/fuckparagraphs
He just showed you his true colors babe
drop this loser
You’re long distance, which isn’t much of a relationship . He’s 28 years old and he won’t change and what happens when you would like together?