My boyfriend whilst in a conversation with Me last night after he had a few drinks called me his ex’s name in a sentence this then actually ruined my night and I could not sleep and it is 24 hours later and I’m still thinking about it. we had spoken about it for around an hour and texted about it and he says he is deeply sorry and it doesn’t mean anything And it was an accident and he doesn’t even think about her anymore and claims that he doesn’t have any lingering feelings for her at all he told me this relationship ended November 2023 and I am apparently the most serious relationship he has had since so maybe that’s why he called me her name. I’ve felt sick all day and for some reason I can just not wrap my head around this. I know it might seem silly but I don’t know how I’m going to move past this. He has apologise profusely, but I just don’t know how I feel and I know I would never have done this to him. Please, if I could have some advice that would be amazing. Also, I don’t know if this makes any difference, but I am 22 and he is 30 so he has had more relationships than me. I just feel sick. Do I have a right to feel upset about this and uncomfortable?
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End it now while you have your whole life ahead
Didn’t even read past the title.
Age gap
Leave. Leave. Leave!
🚩🚩🚩
My goodness, it was a name slip. That’s just part of life, don’t overthink it. I have called each of my kids the wrong name, boyfriends by exes names or my boss mom or what have you. Everyone does it, I suspect you feel he has more to this attachment than you want to let on, otherwise it wouldn’t bother you.
Honestly, you might be overreacting about this specific issue. It really does just happen sometimes. I can’t count the number of times I’ve called someone the name of my ex or someone else has called me their ex. It’s more of an instinct thing when you’re having the same type of interactions, like when you call a teacher your mom- it’s just because your dynamic is the same.
However, I do agree with the other comments, the age gap is a red flag and I’d seriously consider this relationship and how different those ages really are. You said yourself he’s had much more experience/relationships than you and that difference is clearly already starting to rear its head and bother you. You cannot catch up with him in life experience unless he gets frozen in time. It will not change.
I have been divorced for almost 25 years and still call my fiance that I’ve been with for 13 years by my ex’s name every now and again. I’m not thinking of him and have not thought of him unless talking to my kids .. it happens… at least to me
Insecure much? Just bc u say the wrong name doesn’t mean anything. I call my kids the wrong name all the time. It’s a nothing burger
I get that it hurt you but this my girl is at the lower end of things you should break up over. Is he a good man? Kind? Meeting your emotional and physical needs in general then stop sweating the small stuff and go be in love before he walks away.
At least he didn’t do the “bucking bronco” wait until you are doing it doggy, call you by her name and then see how long he can hold on 🤣
Him calling you by her name is absolutely an accident, and it happens to all of us, it literally doesn’t mean anything, don’t read too much into it, the age gap is the only concern, why is a 30 year old man not dating someone around his age (27-33)? Was the ex also young?
My partner has done that. I literally didn’t even address it. I know it was an accident and I know that’s a common mistake people make. It’s normal to feel jealous after that. I also don’t think it’s a huge red flag he did that.
mistakes happen, that one in particular happens all the time, your main problem is you’re 22 and still have the vestiges of high school drama being a valuable resource still living in your head. wait it out, usually dissipates by the time you’re 25 and you understand why these things happen and it’s not always about you and your insecurities.
Eh. I’ve been the giver AND reciever for this. It means nothing.
The age gap is more concerning to me than him accidentally saying his ex’s name.
He should RUN!
She’s not past the over the top “My ENTIRE LIFE Is Ruined By…” (pick anything meaningless for the drama value) part of her life.
Dealers Choice…
The thermostat is set ‘Wrong’, the restruant ran out of her whatever, there is a traffic jam, she can’t figure out the TV remote, left her lights on and the car won’t start, her reality TV show got canceled, she got a bug bite, she saw a commercial for something she ‘Hates’, the shirt she wanted to wear is dirty, the coffee shop didn’t have no fat cream, there isn’t a parking space right in front of the store she wants…
… And a hundred thousand other things that have “Ruined Her Life FOREVER!”
I’m SO GLAD about half of my dating pool has progressed past that age/mentality!
I don’t think it’s a big deal at all. Has he given any other indication that he’s got feelings for her?
I’m 30 and the thought of dating someone your age makes me feel violently ill.
Dump. It wasn’t an accident.
Big red flag, he is rebounding….meaning he isn’t over her and he picked a hot cute girl that he will not treat well. Please run quickly.
Grow up
Get over it
Move on
You’ve never called anyone the wrong name ?
I call my youngest child by my dead dogs name
Cut the poor guy some slack, it’s not like his dick was in your mouth at the time, or was it?
You sound incredibly insecure. It’s really not that big of a deal, I’m terrible with names and call people by the wrong name constantly. I’ve called people by my dogs names for God’s sake.
Id recommend breaking up because it doesn’t seem like you’re in the right headspace to be in a relationship. Every little thing isn’t the end of the world or worth ending a relationship over, if a slip of a tongue can send you spiraling I hate to think what’ll happen during an actual serious argument.
I’m sorry but if something as menail as this ruined your night and gave you this reaction the problematic person is you. It was a mistake, when you are with a person you get used to saying their name mistakes happen. A girl call me the wrong name during sex once, I didn’t make a big deal about it.
I feel like it is important that you mention how this made you feel. It does seem to be an honest mistake. If he doesn’t have any contact with his ex, then it could have been a mistake. If he was with her for a while then it makes sense if he said her name. Also they separated in late 2023, less that 2 years ago… so I mean it happens
You’re 22 years old, with a 30 year old, OF COURSE this relationship isn’t going to work. You’re in two completely different places in your life. He probably saw his ex as a partner, and you as something he possesses. He probably switched from girls his age, if he EVER went for girls his age, to someone who doesn’t have enough experience to see his red flags for what they are. See this as a chance to get out and find someone your own age. Someone who sees you as a partner and an equal.
You have every right to feel how you feel.
I, 45F, have slipped up a few times by calling a current BF my most recent ex’s name. Once early on, but the ex and I had not been together for over a year (I initiated the divorce and had zero interest in being with them ever again) and a second time a year or two after that. Both times I was miss conversation and i think something about the tone, subject matter, or general situation bright the name to my lips, it definitely wasn’t on my mind or intentional.
I was embarrassed and felt bad, especially since the second time was around friends too. I know it looks bad and probably hurt his feelings too, I apologized, but we both moved on.
It’s up to you to decide if this was a short circuit like mine were or if you think there was more to it, but unless you have strong evidence he’s still interested in her I’d assume it was unintentional and try to move forward. Mixed up names in your brain is very common, I’ve been called by just about every family member’s name and I’ve seen people use an animals name even by accident.
Chill, I accidentally call people names that absolutely aren’t theirs all the time, I do it so much I catch myself sometimes, almost called a manager “mom” once. Accidents happen
I’m so surprised by the number of responses turning this into something bigger than it is. It’s just a slip of the tongue. Our brains are hardwired to recognize patterns. Especially in a drinking context, filters just turn off. I’m not saying there’s no accountability to be had here, but an apology was warranted and given. It can end there.
I don’t want to be an ass, but it sounds like this is hitting on an insecurity or something bigger, maybe? If this is the thing that ends the relationship, something is off. Since we don’t have any other context, that’s my piece. Wishing yall luck!
My husband and I occasionally call each other by our ex’s names. We laugh about and forget it instantly. You have the right to feel however you feel, of course, and you may want to think more about the long term goals that you have for the relationship. If you’re 42 and he’s 50 and accidentally calls you by his ex’s name, will it still ruin your day?