My bf, ‘21/M’ has been with me, ‘20/F’ for a little over a year now. I’ve always known that he finds “thicc” girls attractive: big boobs, big ass girls basically.
Now I’m a petite Asian girl but I do have a more curvy build with my wide hips and small waist. My really small chest though has been an insecurity of mine that he’s also aware of.
I came to realized that he had never really find my body sexy because it doesn’t fit his preference, and it really impacted my confidence. I personally would like my partner to think I’m hot and sexy, but now knowing that no matter what I wear he will never see me the way I want him to is very discouraging. I’m now regretting ever buying sexy lingeries because I don’t think he finds me hot in them.
We have talked about this issue and how it’s effected me and he promised to stop watching porn since we both believe that’s where his preference comes from. I told him that he can find beauty in every features. Small chests might not be conventionally desirable but it has its own sex appeal too.
He thinks I’m very pretty and he does like my face, but I ended up questioning why he doesn’t like everything that I am and all the features I come with? He clarified that he still enjoys our intimate time because he loves me and it’s a time that he can feel close to me. However, now I feel uncomfortable showing my bare body to him because I feel insecure and overthink about whether or not he imagined other women in his mind while we’re doing the activity.
Since the issue, I felt like not sharing any pictures of myself with him in fear of being judged and I just felt very insecure overall. Last time I mustered up the courage to send him a picture of me trying on a bikini, he responded with “looking cute”. In hindsight it might not be a bad response but at the time I wanted to look sexy and the word cute really cut me deep lol.
I was a very confident girl who thinks that I’m hot in my own way, but now my bf has brought back all of my insecurities. I kept seeing all these relationships reels on instagram and they all have bfs who are super into them and I can’t help but compare them to my own relationship. I thought your lover is supposed to be someone who makes you feel like the prettiest girl and make you feel desired. This is my first relationship and I’m still unsure how I should navigate this. Am I too shallow for focusing too much on this? What if he never manages to find the appeal in my body type?
tl;dr , I’m a petite girl and my bf likes thicc girls, and I never look hot or sexy to him no matter what I wear. Now I’m insecure and unsure if he can change his perspectives and learn to appreciate my features.
Comments
Doubtful… one likes what one likes.
Totally normal feelings to have!! From the perspective of a man, I definitely have a type that I’m most physically attracted to, but that doesn’t preclude me from being attracted to other female body types too. My first thought was if he wasn’t attracted to you he wouldn’t date you.