So my bf doesn’t me talking to any of my male cousins like no interaction at all. This is mainly about my first cousin that I literally grew up in the same house as when I was little and even when we moved out we still saw eachother every week. Me and his family are close as his mum is my dad’s sister and we literally go on holiday together and everything. Mind you since we’ve grown up I’m not as close as I was to my cousin but we still have small talk and play games. We don’t really message other or anything we only talk if we see eachother.
My bf has been so pissy that I talk to him thinking it’s weird. In no way shape or form do I talk to my cousin in any weird way we are literally family he’s my cousin to me nothing else. If I were to ignore him my parents would find it rude of me or think something happened and I don’t even have a reason to do so. My bf really said oh he could like you or you could like him…
I found that ridiculous like disgusted. Thats family and will forever stay family. He literally doesn’t even want me to say hi or anything?
Idk what to do, what’s next, I’m not allowed to talk to my brother?
Comments
Your boyfriend doesn’t get to decide who you talk to.
He gets to either accept your friends and family, or stay silent.
Find a better – less weird – boyfriend.
That’s creepy.
Why are you with a creepy guy?
That’s a huge red flag, no man has the right to make you a stranger to your own blood. Stand firm and tell him your family is sacred, because if he can’t respect that he won’t respect you.
Dump this dude. Tell him he is a controlling psycho and you want to live your life. Then delete and block his number. Never look back and enjoy a great life
Weird guy with porn brain.
He’s showing you who he is; it will only get worse, and possibly move to physical abuse to control you.
Break it off now.
2 red flags for the price of one: He wants to control you and to him cousins are a romantic possibility? Please please dump him double quick.
This reads like trauma to me. A lot of extremely jealous people actually started as trusting individuals who got hurt badly. Their brains built defense systems that made sense in that specific traumatic situation—but over time, those systems warped into something irrational or overactive.
The right approach isn’t shame or disgust—it’s honest dialogue and slow analysis. But that doesn’t mean you have to become their therapist. You should always think about your own well-being first.
If you truly care about your boyfriend and feel like he’s worth the effort, you can try helping him work through this mental barrier. Slowly reinforce the idea that you are not his past. But if the jealousy is damaging your peace or too heavy to carry, it’s okay to walk away. Prioritize yourself.
Is he from Alabama or something?
Anyway, your bf’s request is weird and creepy.
EDIT: after reading your other comments, RUN. This bf is a giant trouble.
Are you in Alabama?
1st off, that isn’t weird that you talk with him/them (because their family) and second your boyfriend is very insecure.
🚩🚩
Your boyfriend is an idiot and wants to control your life as he pleases, it’s best to leave him because, spoiler: IT WILL GET WORSE.
Run fast
Leave like yesterday 😵💫 that’s just eww… Btw he is not your bf, he is your prison guard 🫣 what do you mean he won’t let you leave the relationship?!?! My advice is girl you gotta go and you’re wasting your literal life being with this creep… All the best ✨🌸
He’s right, I wouldn’t allow that either. A father or brother sure; a cousin is basically a boy bsf. It doesn’t matter if it “isn’t weird”, why would you want a male her age exerting influence over her, the objective is her subsumption to you
Today it’s cousins. Tomorrow it’s the rest of your family and friends. The day after, it’s people at work. It sounds controlling and obsessive because your bf could apply this same criteria to anyone in your life you may encounter.
Escape now while you have a chance.
I do not know why people keep dating controlling people.I don’t understand. Help me figure it out
Too bad! Your cousins are family. You should be able to talk to anyone in your family, male or female. Do you ban him from talking to female female family members? Of course not
You need a new boyfriend. That’s odd.
Dump your boyfriend quickly
This guy is super controlling and weird. And your comment below about how you’ve tried to break up but he makes it impossible… huge red flag. Get yourself out of this situation for good. Cut off all contact and let that be the end.
This is the tip of the iceberg. Get out now before he shows you more of his true colours.
your bf has fucked his cousin
That’s absolutely crazy. Kick his insecure, abusive ass into the trash and get a decent guy.
There are many countries and several states where you can marry your first cousin. Just FYI.
Many countries in the Middle East, including Saudi Arabia, have high rates of cousin marriage.
Southeast Asia:
Many countries in this region, such as Cambodia, Indonesia, Laos, Malaysia, Myanmar, Singapore, and Thailand, allow first cousin marriage.
Europe:
Some European countries, like Greece and Italy, permit first cousin marriage.
United States:
The legality of first cousin marriage varies by state. Some states, like California, Colorado, and New York, allow it, while others prohibit it.
A respectful partner would also respect your freedom to make and maintain your social relationships, including your extended family.
What BF is demonstrating is an example of coercive control. He needs professional counselling. If he refuses, I’d leave. Consider making their parents and mutual friends aware as well (iow, bring them onto your side).
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/
Your bf has issues , insecurities, etc and needs to get over them. I’m sure if you told him he couldn’t speak to female relatives or friends he’d call you controlling.
Not sure of your ages or how long you’ve been with him but you need a serious talk with him to try to resolve his insecurities. Otherwise you may have to reconsider this relationship.
Your “boyfriend” sounds dangerous and controlling. You say he won’t let you leave him. I don’t know if you’re being hyperbolic, but if I take you at your word, that is abuse. It’s not romantic and it’s not love when someone is so jealous of you that they try to control who you can talk to. Even if he thinks he loves you, what he’s doing is abuse. Do not underestimate how much one person can ruin your future. All of your dreams and potential can vanish by the time you get away from someone like that if you aren’t careful. If there’s anyone in your family or friends who you can trust and who will take your concerns seriously, please talk to them. If not, there are resources online for people trying to leave unsafe relationships. Make a plan to get out and do not tell him about this plan. Sincerely, someone who has been around the block and seen a lot of lives ruined.
Dont date a control freak.
That’s super weird unless your in the hills of Kentucky or Alabama or Tennessee
Just because he wants to fuck his cousins, doesn’t mean that you do.
I’m guessing he’s from the south
Tell your BF to get lost. He’s attempting to isolate you from family and soon, friends. He’s out of his mind.
Stop finding excuses to leave him and go.
This person sounds toxic and could kill you. I’m not sure why you are not taking this seriously. It’s not love and affection or cute. It’s toxic and pathetic and honestly, mental. You are in danger if you continue.
Get a backbone and save yourself now before it’s too late for you. And please don’t have kids with this person.
That’s the true meaning of ‘fun police’
Next it’s going to be your boss, your male teacher, your dad or your brother. Then it’ll be your best friend, and even your mom “because they don’t support your love and don’t want to see you happy” or some other bullshit reason- when it’s actually because they will confirm that he’s being insane and he can’t let you have anyone around who will call out his brainwashing bullshit.
Find a new boyfriend. It’ll only get worse. Pretty soon it’ll be just you and him because he’ll have made you cut everyone else who loves you off. While he still has plenty of people to talk to, I’m assuming.
Get away now.
Your boyfriend thinks you and your family are capable and willing to commit incest. Let that sink in.
Everyone is telling you in these comments that you need a new BF or calling him weird
They’re also telling you that it will get worse over time. It WILL.
Leave him. Please don’t think twice. You will feel so much better I promise you.
If you leave him, tell him go never contact you again and block his number. If he reaches out to contact you again it’s harassment and you can file a charge against him. It’ll shut him up.
Your boyfriend fantasises about fucking his own cousins so he’s projecting.
Well that relationship didn’t last long.
He is trying t control you. This is just the start, if you don’t want to be controlled your whole life RUN!!!
From someone who experienced family isolation just like this and didn’t leave my abuser for 10 years out of guilt—RUN. DO NOT WASTE YOUR LIFE ON THIS “MAN”.
Get rid of BF he is a creep
Leave this weirdo. Who gets mad about family? I could not imagine telling my friends my girl dumped me because I didnt want her near her own family.
Gaslighting and isolating you from friends/family is psychological abuse. It’ll only get worse if you don’t leave him. He’s very controlling, a good boyfriend wouldn’t treat you like this. Please reach out to someone you can trust and talk to them. And please leave him. It might seem hard or impossible to do but you can 100% do it. There are also resources online about abuse if you need help!
He sounds extremely insecure
Break up
Tell your bf to go jump in a lake. He’s a weirdo.
Ufff just scrolling though the comments shows so many red flags way beyond the original post…run from this guy, fast. The longer you stay, the more regrets.
Anyone trying to control your interactions with family and friends = massive red flag.
Leave and block. If he stalks you, get a restraining order against him.
OP let us know when you leave him so that we can all be in peace for you.
Don’t let this prince among men get away, marry him now!
Wut. He’s needs to stop watching so much porn. You need to find someone who watches less porn
Definitely get rid of the boyfriend. This is just the beginning of a controlling jealous, probably abusive relationship that you’re getting into.
Sounds like a ex boyfriend situation
Does he have a really cute cousins?
Sounds like he’s fucked one of his cousins to me. But, no seriously – that’s weird, controlling, and isolating. Do you want to live like that?
Normally I try to understand the hard lines people put in a relationship but this one isn’t it…. I think it speaks volumes about his character if he can’t trust you around your cousin.
You don’t have a boyfriend. You have a stalker that you used to date. Deal with your stalker appropriately.
This is straight up controlling behavior. You don’t cut off family, especially someone you grew up with, just because your boyfriend is insecure.
He is not being protective. He is being possessive. Twisting a normal family bond into something “weird” is messed up. That is your cousin. Blood. End of story.
If he cannot handle you saying hi to a relative, he is not ready for a healthy relationship. It starts with your cousin, then your brother, then your friends and coworkers, until your whole life revolves around his issues. That is how control works.
You do not need to defend what is completely normal. He needs to deal with his jealousy instead of turning it into your problem. Stand your ground.
And most importantly:
If you tell him you’re done, he will beg. He will promise to change. He may even cry or swear it will never happen again. Do not believe him. The moment he feels like things are stable again, he will go right back to who he really is.
Uau, seems healthy. Keep it up, I’m sure it’s gonna work out.
Ive been in your exact position and honestly this raises from deep insecurity and they usually try to cover it up by saying theyre jealous or protective over you. Trust me, leave him. If he cant deal with you talking to someone who’s literally blood, i cant imagine how much worse he is when it comes to other guys(when necessary). Its immature, you can and should find someone who thinks with actual logic and like an adult
BF’s brain is fried from too much porn. He’s being incredibly gross and rude sexualizing the relationship with the cousin.
Also, huge red flag trying to control and isolate you from your own family. That’s abusive.
NTA
And people wonder why Redditors’ first response is to break up. Girl.
That’s some red flags and either you teach him by finding someone new or he’ll teach you regret later in life.
He’s fucking stupid just ditch him
your bf is fucking strange and probably a bit incest if he thinks its actually likely for there to be anything between COUSINS. run
OP Ima need you to listen carefully and exact. Log off, sit straight up, get off your bum, then dump a bum. If you gotta ask advice about “isolation manipulation” tactics like this then you should know the answer is to leave that loser. Cause this is not normal at All, Unless someone is overstepping boundaries and making you sexually uncomfortable, you should be able to hang out with who you wanna hang with. Your “man” is just gonna have to take it how he wants it and get in where he fits in. I understand you said its hard to leave ,my sister went through a similar thing with a creepo a while back. Remember the ball/control is always in your favor. You could get an entirely new number/new email(if hes a desperate email pleader) block him on all socials, including people who know him and guilt trip you. And if he tries knocking at your door or approaching in person or reaching out in any other form, Just. Don’t . Engage. Simple. …..Unless your life is in danger, then get help obvi. Point is you have more control then you know. Take care<3
He’s territorial and wants to isolate you from your family because he legitimately thinks you’ll just plow one of your male cousins. So not only does he flat out not trust you, he thinks incest is always on the table for you. Good luck with that mess of a person.
BF is a bell end. Throw him like a hot potato.
I read all the other comments and yes, you need to dump him asap. But also tell your family, including your cousin what type of person he is, maybe even your friends.
You need to get away from him and get out of the grip of his manipulation. It might be very hard at first, that’s why you should tell others.
Don’t fight this alone.
Maybe be a big girl and set boundaries with him and quit making the excuse of he’ll do this and that etc etc if I leave him. Like bro, you don’t even live with him and restraining orders are a real thing.
It’s an easy see that he is a red flag. Quit pussy footin and cut the head off the snake
Or quit seeking the Internet attention and stay unhappy with your weird ass boyfriend.
Literally as easy as that. Trust me, shit won’t get better.
My wife cousins got married and had kids id be worried too
Guy is implying you’re fucking your cousin and won’t let you leave the relationship? Definitely tell your cousin.
You need to get rid of this guy
Look I’m a bit of the jealous type. But stopping your GF from talking to her cousins is psycho shit. On top of that, not allowing you to break up with him and blowing up your phone and forcing you to stay in the relationship through intimidation and fear tactics is a HUGE RED Flag. These are the type of guys who beat their women, even kill their women. These are not healthy mentally stable man, these are man that you need to get far away from.
Its obvious you are not being able to break up with him. Here is what you do, get a few of your cousins, go with them to meet this dude in person, tell him you are breaking up with him, that’s it point blank, no negotiations no nothing. Have your cousins tell him that if he comes close to you, comes in contact with you in any way shape or form they will beat his ass. AND say you are getting a restraining order, go to the police bring evidence of what’s going on, say you don’t feel safe and get a restraining order. If he violates that order, get him arrested.
Don’t be soft about this, your life can depend on it. No one should be Ina relationship with someone like that, he does not love you, he wants to posses you, like your an object.
OP make sure you follow this advice
All I’m saying is if anyone has ever seen the films “fear” (1996) or “no one would tell”(1996?) Or at least have read a summery/explanation on them you would know what this is capable of becoming.
Do yall live in Alabama?
If he doesn’t want you talking to any males, no matter how closely related…what is going on in his head and do you want to be that tightly watched & controlled for the rest of your life? Easier to break it off now before you start to change your behavior to pacify him…and he takes it up another notch or three.