Hi, my (22f) bf (21m) and I have been together for over a year and been doing long distance for 6 months now. He moved to Australia with his family, he’s been making friends and I am happy for him. But I don’t know how to feel when he tells me when he gets girls numbers, he’ll explain the context and they sound innocent enough. He mentioned one time he met a girl who was a cashier when shopping for a gift for his mom. He noticed the accent, being from his home country and they spoke a bit more and got each other’s numbers.
Then yesterday, he told me about how he was waiting at the train station and two girls complimented his shoes. He mentioned how that turned into a whole conversation and he ended up missing his train. I asked if he got their numbers and he said they asked and he thought why not, more friends. I didn’t know what to think, I just said I’m happy he’s meeting more people. He also added, after that two guys came and he got their numbers as well and missed another train. I want him to be able to make friends regardless of gender.
However, if two guys approached me and complimented something of mine and I didn’t know them like that in a foreign country I wouldn’t really give them my number if they asked idk. I would be more comfortable making guy friends from mutual friends, work, school etc but we both see it differently. He mentioned how people that side are very friendly so I believe him. I want him to feel free in making friends and meeting people and I just hope he doesn’t end up in bad situations. Advice on how to navigate this?
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Do you ever plan on seeing him again? The fact of the matter is that when two people are separated by distance, and no longer get to spend time with each other, feelings tend to change. Texting is just not a substitute for direct, face-to-face interaction where you can look into someone else’s eyes and be in another person’s immediate presence.
It’s normal to make friends, but it’s also quite likely that he is going to meet somebody else who is interesting to him.
Is that what you mean by “bad situations”?
Unfortunately, there’s nothing that you can really do to prevent that.
So the question now becomes how to manage your own feelings.
What’s the plan/timing for when you will be in the same location?
it’s kinda sus he’s just handing out his number like it’s candy, even if it’s “friendly”, you’re not crazy for feeling weird about it. Just be real with him, like “yo, I trust you but this stuff makes me uncomfortable,” and see how he handles that.
It’s great that he’s open with you, but your feelings are valid too. If something makes you uncomfortable, it’s okay to talk about it. Long distance needs trust and boundaries—just be honest and find a balance that works for both of you.
if you talked about boundaries and trust him, just let him do his thing. but communicate if it’s making you uncomfortable. you need to be okay with the dynamic, but also trust your gut.
Be real. This is not good.
Was he from England. Those blokes play on their accent and shag anything that moves. Might be time to get yourself a new bloke.
This is just another symptom of distance ruining a relationship. He is starting to like attention from other women and it seems like it’s only a matter of time before he chooses someone he can see every day over you. I’m sorry but it seems to me he will break your heart very soon.
This is not boyfriend behavior.
Break up
It’s lovely that you trust him so much… I live with my bf and neither of us would be at all comfortable with the other getting random numbers from the opposite sex, especially if out and about, alone and not together.
That being said, every relationship is different. But it’s important that you are honest with him about how you feel, especially with such a long distance. Trust is everything and if you are uncomfortable with his actions, he should know.
Lordy. I wouldn’t even hand out my number that willingly to women and I’m a woman myself!! Never mind a man when iv a whole ass boyfriend. You need to ask yourself if you can deal with the mental torture for whatever long it will be until you are together again.
Mate he was flirting with those girls they where chatting him up and got there numbers he probably told you he got numbers from
Guys as well so he didn’t sound guilty . He’s 22 just got to a new country he’s going to party hit clubs and talk to girls. If you think he’s only going to have sex twice a year for the next 3 years you must be dreaming
By all means I mean this as kindly as possible, but is there any real possibility of you two seeing each other anytime soon? I don’t know, long distance is always iffy and usually depends on the effort of the two people in the relationship, what they put into it is what I believe only makes a long distance relationship work. Your effort has to be above and beyond and consistent to keep it up. And not necessarily that what I mentioned specifically is the issue.
I just don’t see what the point is if I’m assuming he’s moved to an entirely different continent you in being so young, but not too young it’s completely doubtful like in high school though and as I’ve said I don’t know either of you or the extent of your relationship so I can only go off the post that took a minute at best to read and comprehend so you know and can only make these decisions fully yourself, none of us have further insight. So please don’t take this with any offense that being said!
But I will say even if he has the best intentions that doesn’t mean others will, or he won’t be guaranteed not to end up in a risky situation himself.
That being my logic, I’m assuming he moved to Australia from where, the US or where exactly? I feel like that’s an important detail you’re leaving out.
My logic is I don’t see the point depending on how far you actually are if it’s what I’m assuming that’s too far in my opinion, but you both being so young what’s the point to holding on for the stress and other things it will eventually cause being long distance? Especially if there is no confirmation or any chance of you seeing each other after the move in I would say the next 6 months max.
And I agree with you giving out his number it sounds like almost to anyone is not a smart move, I agree with why befriend friends of the opposite sex if you’re in a relationship, but their is the case of him being in a completely new country knowing no one that adds validity to the situation, but I don’t think it’s much.
It’s one thing if he waited till he knew these people better, but that’s not great news if that’s with a girl and you are his girlfriend. That only leaves room for the worst case scenario to eventually happen given the best intentions, sure it’s wrong but the prolonged physical absence from each other and well him being so eager to make friends and meet new people it’s very likely he’ll end up in a compromising situation even if not by his own fault eventually or you may suddenly have a change of heart.
So what’s the point in pro longing the relationship?
I might sound like a pessimist or someone who’s a lot of fun at parties lol 😅 but seriously why put yourself through all of that?
He needs to get the number of the train conductor who can call him and remind him to get on the train on time.