So kind of at the start of our relationship, I 25F and my boyfriend30M together for 8 months are sitting down on the couch one day on our phones, and I noticed that he still had tinder and hinge on his phone. I said something about it, and in hindsight, he did get a little defensive about it, but promised me he wasn’t doing anything and promised to delete them. I didn’t really think anything of it at the time and chose to believe him. Fast-forward a few months, and I’m sitting out his computer and decided to be snoopy and check his emails because I feel like he didn’t actually delete them.
Give me all the crap you want about that. I know I shouldn’t have done it and I know I shouldn’t have invaded his privacy. There was nothing on the first page of his email so I decided to click next and and the second page popped up to where he had a notification from hinge that one of his matches was removed for inappropriate behavior. I’m kind of livid at this point because I realize that I was obviously being lied to, so I essentially confront him then and there. He apologizes says that he thought he deleted him off his phone, but he only deleted them off of his homepage. Kind of crazy to me because he said when I first confronted him that he didn’t have any profiles on them and that he had simply just forgotten to delete them. Which we know now is obviously a like so he’s apologizing and saying he only wants to be with me and that he’ll get rid of them and then he’ll show me that he got rid of him.
He comes back home a couple days ago and says that he deleted them fully off of his phone and then I could see if I wanted. Well, I go back on his email today and he got another notification about another one of his matches being removed. I’m starting to question things a little bit more because, Apple gives you the option to permanently delete something, but it also gives you the option to delete it from your home screen. So I’m thinking that he did that so he could just hide them so that I wouldn’t see them. But now I’m wondering like this entire time when you lied to me and said that you deleted them that he didn’t get a single notification or email which I know he did, but it’s the question I’m going to ask him when he comes home from work today. At this point anything that he has said or will say I wouldn’t believe because he already lied. But I’m here before I blow up just to see if there’s any chance in hell that he might be telling the truth? Did he not realize of pay attention to them like he claims?
I’m very pissed off because not only was I lied to you, but he’s been pretty consistent with villainizing me about certain things. Like I’m not comfortable with my girl doing this and I’m not comfortable with my girl wearing that. But not only did you initially have them when we first started dating and we’re exclusive to each other you fully have them on your phone and didn’t care that you have them on your phone at that time. All the stuff that you’ve been putting on me while you have been sitting on the fact that you have had dating apps on your phone for the entire duration of our relationship. I’m not sure where to go from here so any advice would be amazing.
TL;DR found out my boyfriend, still had the dating app on his phone after telling me that he deleted them.