I (34F) had plans to see my boyfriend(38M) of 2 years tonight. Nothing fancy, just dinner at his place. While i was getting ready, my parents (who I live with) told me that my grandfather (who i call poppop) is not doing well at all. He has liver cancer, which recently spread to his surrounding tissues. He is in kidney failure, and he has something called acsites which is making his stomach fill with fluid. And his blood pressure is bottoming out (57/35). The doctors are moving him to the ICU, but they said there isn’t anything else they can do for him. Since my parents were going to the hospital to see him, they weren’t able to babysit my 6 year old daughter, and I had to stay home with her. When I told my bf this, he was furious. He said, “I’m so sick of this. whatever man forget it. why are we even trying to be together? We never get to see each other.” For context, we hang out about twice a week, and every other weekend when my daughter goes to her father’s. I am limited in my ability to hang out every day because I have a daughter, and I can only ask my parents to babysit so much. But he doesnt seem to care. He also said… “Just go date other people I can’t take it anymore. It’s always somebody dying. It’s always just sick. It’s always fucking something man. They can’t be with me. I can’t take it. I’m always alone. I’m gonna see other people people that can fucking come out and not fucking once in a blue fucking moon and I’m done with this shit.”
To say I’m heartbroken is an understatement. Im trying to process losing my poppop, and my bf leaving me at the same time. He has a tendency to blow up over something and then quickly get over it and move on. But i think this might be it this time. I am also currently financially dependent on him, which is a choice we made together. I dont know what to do. Do I just let him leave or ask him for another chance?
Comments
The garbage took itself to the curb. Leave it there
Sorry about your grandpa. Spend as much time as you can. Is your child’s father willing to do you a solid and take care of your child. You should be at his side as much as possible.
Unfortunately, though he was an ass, being a single mother living with your parents will make any relationship tricky. That doesn’t mean you accept treatment like this, though. Completely unacceptable.
Seriously if he has bloeups like this from time to time, then he is not for you. He should be able to make allowances for your daughter and family. I have fiance with 7 year old. I accept him as my own. Father nowhere to be found. Looking forward to my futre with them. On the otherhand, seems like bf has no tolerance or plans for your daughter in his future
Why are you financially dependent on him? You don’t even live together.
Sorry, but you really have to drop this guy.
Or does he own you. Or is buying you.
Sad about your grandfather. However the trash took itself out with your boyfriend. So happy for your daughter that he is no longer in your life.
How are you financially dependent on him, dont you live with your folks? Dump the guy, and work towards becoming independent. Look into furthering your education or get a job otherwise you will always have to put up with someone elses bs because you cant financially survive on your own. Your current situation is also not a good role model for your daughter.
Sorry but asking him for another chance? You didn’t do anything wrong in the first place, sorry about your grandpa
Sorry but your bf is extremely codependent which leads to controlling manipulative behaviours… and then the more he can’t control you the higher chance of violence becoming reality. You deserve better than what he’s doing. A supportive bf would want to be there for you, have empathy for you and your family… grandfather. He’s not capable of that.
Your boyfriend is a jerk. I really wouldn’t fret for long about losing him. And if he does ‘forget’ this, I’d suggest telling him to lose your number.
Focus on your family. Which is what your boyfriend should have said.
He isn’t the one for you. Let him go.
You are far too old to waste your life with someone like this. My SO sat with me at hospice with my grandfather every night. Your boyfriend quite frankly sounds like a piece of shit from your post. Everyone has their ups and downs, what you are describing is NOT NORMAL.
Figure out your finances and do what you have to do. Come up with a plan and stick to it. You deserve far better than someone who bails on you in a real emergency.
Imagine your daughter is an adult and you learned her BF treated her this way. What would you tell her? Honestly this behavior is despicable and you need to work on your self respect. End it.
Let the trash take itself out. Good riddance.
You don’t live with him so how are you depending on him financially? Your boyfriend resents that you have a kid… Let him go and become financially independent