I’m a 20/F and my boyfriend is M/20. Been together for 4 months, and he has been an utter angel to me except for now…
The other night my bf, Max, and I were watching a movie when we got into a mini makeout session and while he was in the process of flipping me over he got hella frustrated… Then like some Tom and Jerry scene, he dashes to the end of the bed and started cupping his face like the world was crushing in on him? I asked him what was wrong and he told me something along the lines of, “This is getting old. At first this hobby was cute, but I can’t get it on with an old man watching me.”
I feel awful looking back at it, but I laughed at him cause that was so insanely bizarre to me… but he was being dead serious. Before I knew it, he was out of my room and left the apartment. So what is this “old man?” It’s a Magneto figure. Please don’t dawg on me for this, but I absolutely adore x-men and my room is decked out in it. I have this collection I’m proud of too, and the Magneto one happens to be my favorite so he sits on my headboard and he’s roughly around 12 inches tall with a comic accurate appearance.
After that incident my boyfriend messaged me and told me I needed to “re-evaluate” my hobby if I wanted to continue the relationship. He’s even gone on to say I need to grow up and solve this issue like an adult… but I told him I wouldn’t and he’s telling me I’m jeopardizing the best relationship I’ll ever get. What do I even do in this situation?
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Hobbies. You’re looking for someone who loves you for who you are, not who he wishes you’d turn into.
>he’s telling me I’m jeopardizing the best relationship I’ll ever get.
LOL. That attitude alone stops him from reaching that apex.
It’s been 4 months and he’s telling you you’ll never get anything better? Leave him for that alone, never mind the ultimatum. He should feel lucky to be with you, not like he’s doing you a favour.
Sorry girl. He sounds like a dud.
I mean, I personally would find it a bit off putting and distracting if my partner had a bunch of figurines in their bedroom, let alone one on the headboard.
But that being said, issuing an ultimatum like that is a bad start to working through things and generally just isn’t a reasonable request.
He could’ve asked if you would consider removing it from your headboard or moving them somewhere out of your room, whether permanently or just when he’s over.
If he doesn’t like the figure he can put a tissue or a cloth over it’s face so it isn’t watching him
Let him leave.
To ultimatum someone… Me or xyz… Hardly is a healthy course of action for communication. Threatening someone is never the right choice. Over something like this, its toxic and controlling.
And the cherry on top for him believe he’s gods gift to humanity like this 4 month relationship will be the best you will ever have.
You’re a woman nerd… A highly sought after and rare commodity. Lots of men would love this.
You tell him he is being too emotional about an inanimate object. If he wants to break up over the fact that you own a figurine that it’s his choice. He doesn’t get to dictate or control what you do or do not own because he is irrationally competitive and egotistical over a piece of decor.
Then go enjoy a night out with your friends… find someone who realizes his “competition” is most certainly not an action figure/comic book character.
Please reevaluate the relationship instead of your hobby.
ultimatums are unhealthy and fucking toxic. let him leave. you’re young and can do better. this is entirely a him problem
“The best relationship you’ll ever get?” That would be a supportive relationship. Not this one
You don’t have to have the same interests, but you should both want the other to be happy. I wouldn’t enjoy it if my wife took up harmonica, but we’d find a way for her to enjoy her interests. Life kinda sucks, it’s important to enjoy things
It speaks volumes that he didn’t try to find a compromise
Wait wait wait……. You have a foot tall magneto figure standing on your head board???? Like girl have your hobbies .. but I kinda get it …. I can’t imagine going to town on my girl and have magneto pervin on me while I’m doing it …. I might ask you to move it but never get rid of it
Ok… So he could ask about moving it then? After 4 months he is asking you to change your personality with threats that you’ll be alone forever? Please this is negging 101 he is so transparently trying to manipulate you.
Don’t fall for it, the one having dramatic meltdowns and making huge proclamations is the immature one here. Throw him back and find a nice nerd who will love your hobby there are a bazillion of them.
The negging is a red flag. “You’re ruining the best relationship you’ll ever have” 😂 I don’t think so buddy. But cool that you have such an inflated sense of self. Good grief. That alone would be a deal breaker for me.
The figurines? Yeah, I wouldn’t date someone who had their bedroom decorated that way. Dolls, stuffed animals (real or toys), figurines, huge pictures of their parents or kids over their bed (yeah, briefly dated one guy like that)….just a hard no for me when you’re an adult with a whole other part of the house where you could display those things. I would have been fine with that in HS when your bedroom is the only place you have (and my standards were lower).
His ultimatum is another red flag though. He could have just said that the figurines make him uncomfortable and left it there for you to either fix or end things.
Just be done with the guy.