My bf (M20) and I (F18) have been together for a little over a year and half, we’ve had our ups and downs but recently things have been going good. Back in December we broke for about a month then got back together, in March he cheated on me with two women. This definitely caused a rift but he’s been extremely apologetic and shown remorse and we’ve been moving forward.
Last night he had a big bonfire party he went to with his family. I was supposed to ho down with him but I got out of work way too late and couldn’t make the drive. This party takes place on a lake and he had no service so it was very difficult to get ahold of him. We called at 10:30 and talked for about ten minutes then I told him I was gonna hang up and watch some tv because I felt left out and sad, I told him to have a good time, text me when he’s leaving and hung up.
Prior to this he told me he was leaving at 11:30, well it’s now 11:30 and I haven’t heard from him and I don’t until about 12. When I pick up his call he is crying and just repeating saying how much he loves me and that he needs help calming down. We have multiple phone calls for the next half hour (bc service is horrible) and he is just saying how much he loves me, won’t answer any questions or let me know when he’s leaving. I knew he was drinking before this but I’m not sure how much he’s had.
Now his phone dies and I don’t hear from him but he calls me off his fathers phone, crying, telling me he loves me, he even went as far to say he wishes he could sleep inside me and have me on his cock, infront of his father. At this point he’s too drunk to have any sense and he drops his phone, I over hear him and his father having a conversation about a girl named Sarah, my bf says ” I didn’t fuck Sarah I swear I didn’t fuck her, if I wanted to fuck her I would’ve” to his father, his dad says “I know you didn’t fuck her, I was there the whole time.”. Now I hangup because I couldn’t take hearing that, about a half hour later my bf calls me again I tell him goodnight I love you and hangup.
This morning my boyfriend is claiming to not remember anything, he says he wasn’t crying and he says he didn’t cheat on me. He denies everything which I expected. After more talking he willingly gives me Sarah’s phone number so I text her and ask for more details. She claims he was drinking and that he was rubbing her legs, trying to hold her hand, touched her back and also grabbed her butt. She also said that he tried touching her friends feet and grabbing her chest. She said he also tried touching a man, which throws me off because that’s out of his nature.
He apologized to the girl Sarah but told her he doesn’t remember it. At this point I have to believe it but I’m unsure on what to do because he was drunk and couldn’t handle himself, but he’s cheated before and what if this situation ended up resulting in that.
I feel bad for trying to end things since I feel like he had no control over himself last night but I’m also really hurt by what he’s done and feel bad for all the people he touched.
Any advice on what I should do or how I talk to him about this?
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Girl.. really? Do you seriously need strangers to tell you to break up with a cheater? And a serial liar eho makes excuses? Alcohol doesn’t make you do things you don’t want to do anyway. Literally anyone in a happy relationship will tell you alcohol just makes you want your bf/gf more. I drink one glass and I’m all up on my boyfriend. I would never even dream of touching and flirting with random men when drunk, all i think of is my boyfriend. Stop disrespecting yourself by staying with this asshole.
Break up. Stay away from people who drink and get black out drunk. Maybe being drunk is an excuse for cheating (I don’t think so), but what is the excuse for getting that drunk?
He’s a walking red flag who can’t even keep his story straight. “I don’t remember” is just his get-out-of-jail-free card for messing up repeatedly. Honestly, drunk or not, touching other people like that isn’t just a slip, it’s disrespect on repeat. If he really wanted to change, he’d have by now. Time to rethink what you deserve.
You need to leave him. He’s cheated on you multiple times. Assuming Sarah and the other friend didn’t consent to his advances, that’s sexual assault on his part. Getting drunk is no excuse to sexually harass someone. He has shown what kind of person he is. Don’t let him manipulate you into thinking he’s changed.
I know you’re 18 but girl this is where you need to grow a spine as a lady. Your first shitty boyfriend with an alcohol problem who makes excuses for cheating on you.
It’s time to leave him and stop making excuses. Stop feeling sad and start feeling angry that he treats you like shit.
Plz find your backbone. He’s a cheater. That’s it.